Sharon's blog: I'll always have bay

I'm sure I have an underground village complete with a park system, lake houses, and no doubt several industries living beneath my yard and gardens. How do I know? Because I have the grids outlining all the endeavors running through, over and around my yard. The grids being the raised ceilings of their passageways marking the entire half acre with upside down excavations. We dig down to make a furrow, they dig up to make long winding bumps that trip us and make us drop everything we have in hand. But -- those tunnels -- they are there to fool you because if you tunnel down with hoe or shovel to enter their passages, you never truly find them. Instead you end up with holes all over the surface of your yard, your garden, your flower beds and your very own walkways. And heaven help you if drop any thing down into that bottomless pit while you are digging. Never to be seen again, that thing. It brings to mind 'The Time Machine."

I have decided the leader of that pack is a mole. And why did I reach that conclusion since I've never seen them in action except when I happen upon a moving mound of dirt? Because Nuisance Kitty who lives next door dropped a dead and mangled mole at my feet yesterday, as if offering a gift of profound eternal love. It just happened that I had to chase Nuisance Kitty out of my daylily garden the other morning with the water hose turned on to 'Kill'. Of course the water hose doesn't really kill, but Nuisance Kitty doesn't know that. She does know, however, that the harsh wet spray is a torture device. Not that she now has my undying love because I will again turn the waterhose on her if I see her in my daylilies, but her gift told me that the mangled mole is one of many who live in the city beneath my garden.

I chewed a lot of gum last night and I sprinkled it with cayenne pepper, this morning I stuffed gum, one or two at a time, down any mole hole I could find and into some holes I had made when excavating one of those tunnels. Today I'll watch and see. So far, the winding rooftops of the endless tunnels are not moving, not in my backyard anyway. I haven't checked the front.

And I stomped a lot of tunnels with the heels of my shoes. I hope I mangled another mole or two. And if not, I have a lot of bay leaves. I hate to stuff them down mole holes, but I will if I have to. I will always have bay.

In the meantime, I have a parade of marvelous old daylilies to enjoy, in spite of the moles.

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