<p>My phone line has been acting up lately. Finally it went kaput completely. I reported it through the automated menu system. There was no other choice. :>(</p>
<p>Most of us have suffered that “option” in life. A voice robot tells us to punch 1 for Espanol; punch 2 for phone line report; punch 3 for internet support; punch 4 if your grandmother wears spandex; punch 5...etc. What made it worse was I had to do it on my tiny phone (cell phone), holding it to my ear for proper instructions then remove it and quickly squint at the keyboard to find the proper number to punch, then hope my big fingers would punch the button I chose. After completion the recording robot assured me it would be handled in 24 to 48 hours. Sheesh! I could only wonder why this menu system was supposed to be speedy and efficient only to be told “we’ll deal with it in a day or two”.</p>
<p>Later in the day, compounding matters, I returned home to find that in addition to the phone line being out of order the Internet line was also down. I had to report that separately, once again from my tiny phone. This time I got live voices, real people. For some reason it took two of them to handle it. One of them said “we’re on it” in an accent I was sure wasn’t local while the other overly-nice person spent 20 minutes trying entirely too hard to tell me to be patient, we love you, our customer….</p>
<p>Several hours passed and the phone rang, a welcome sound. It was one of the local repairmen, Mike, saying, "Hey brother, got you goin' again". He was calling from 90 feet away, using the nearest telephone pole. Apparently the home office in Des Moines, Iowa called him. (I live in North Carolina so I’m grateful the phone company spent so much money on long distance just for me.)</p>
<p>By the time I walked to the end of my driveway Mike was off the pole and started telling me there were two problems. It turns out a phone box out on the road was soaking wet from the rains and the "other box" further down the road had rat’s nests in it and chewed wires. He said the rats LOVE that box cus it's big and roomy enough for a family. He also said it’s hard to keep 'em out being as how it is high on the hill 'cus they love the dryness of it. He also mentioned he thought the overlook view of the soy bean fields was so pretty to them it just makes them feel like mating. </p>
<p>But at last, all is well. The phone can be talked on again, the internet is working and seems faster, Mike’s Aunt Lu is out of the hospital recuperating from a neck goiter she swears her husband gave her, his mom had a terrible garden this year (like many of us) but still put up 99 quarts of Blue Lake beans, and his dad's grave has volunteer parsley plants growing on the north side of it for some reason. ("You know my dad was allergic to parsley....")</p>
<p>I commiserated with him indepth eventually sending him home with words of encouragment, a genuine handshake, some jars of pickled beets and a hearty “come see me again anytime”. </p>
<p>What a life, eh? Ya gotta love it!</p>
<p>PS. Is there a moral to this story? If so I reckon it's...</p>
<p><em>"If ya tie a chicken's legs together will it still lay an egg?"</em></p>
<p>Er NO, WAIT, that's the moral to ANOTHER story. (I got confused for a second.)</p>
<p>I reckon the moral to this story is:</p>
<p><em>No matter what, there are times when strangers will benefit ya, friends will help ya, and all goes well. In the big picture, help your friends, befriend the strangers, and remember that lending an ear, offering a solid handshake, (and some pickled beets) sure makes the happenin' a happy one!</em></p>
<p>Shoe — Hoping this finds you and yours healthy and happy!</p>
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