Horseshoe's blog: A short remininse; sharing a special moment with all ATPers.

Posted on Mar 8, 2012 7:01 PM

<p>Howdy, Friends.  Forgive me for being so tardy in blogging.  Life has kept me busier than a cow's tail in fly season these past months.  But today while sweet talking my chickens, to get some egg laying happening, ya see, I remembered an incident worth sharing.  And may the subject of this topic one day forgive me for sharing it with the general public.  Ya see...</p>
<p>Once ‘pon a time, sitting quietly alone in my living room, probably reading and/or watching TV, the phone rang. My wife and daughter were out of town and although it wasn’t the agreed-upon time for them to call I assumed it was them checking in. Picking up the phone, saying ‘Howdy’, the next thing I heard was a very countrified highly-excited high-pitched voice saying...</p>
<p>“Mr. Griffin!? Mr. Griffin! This is Billy! Billy Hawthorn!”. (Pronounced “Beeelly” and “Hawthern”, or maybe it was “Haw thorn”).</p>
<p>“Yes? Speaking.” I replied, trying my best to remember who Billy was.</p>
<p> “You sold me some chickens last week! Said you was going out of the egg business! I’ve got trouble! I can’t get them chickens to lay eggs!”</p>
<p>Well, actually what he said was more like,</p>
<p> “YOU sold me some chickens last <strong>weeeek</strong>! Said you was goin’ outta the <strong>aigg</strong> bizness! I got <strong>trubble</strong>! I got trubble! I cain’t get them chickens to lay <strong>no aiggs</strong>!"</p>
<p> What he said was true. I'd recently decided to stop delivering eggs to the downtown folks and some of them I set up with their own mini-flock of hens so they could continue to have fresh eggs.  After all those years of providing I couldn't just leave those folks stranded, eggless. I stood there hanging on to the phone handle, pushing it tighter to my ear and wrinkling up my forehead as if that would help me remember who Billy was. I was mentally going thru the list of folks I sold or gave chickens to. My mind was spinning like a Rolodex. He went on… </p>
<p>“You ‘member me, right! I live in the big white house up on Main Street! You sold me them chickens! I paid good money for ‘em, too! Cash money! You even picked ‘em out for me, said they was good’ns, too. They ain’t laying no aiggs! I bought them chickens fer the aiggs I’s hopin’ to git from ‘em!”</p>
<p>By then my eyes were nearly crossed cuz of that rolodex spinning around so much, trying to figger out who Billy was, and which chickens I sold him? Was he the one that just wanted the roosters? Or was he the one who wanted the older stewing hens?</p>
<p>While I was wondering a big part of my mind was wandering. My mind wandered down the sidewalks of Main Street, a block at a time, both sides of the street,  trying to pick out the white house he lived in! Heck, from my recollection I never sold but to two people up on Main Street and they was both widder women! I wondered if he was a boyfriend of one of them.</p>
<p>I didn’t wanna create any silence on my end of the line for fear of appearing guilty so I asked “now, what was your last name again?”, then I looked around for the bar stool that usually sits by the kitchen counter. I have no idea why it wasn’t nearby. My weak knees and my thinkin’-too-hard brain could’ve used some support. Along with that my crinkled forehead was now hurting from my knitted eyebrows clear up to my hairline, which has become highly receded over the past years. That's a lot of forehead to hurt, Folks. Ouch.</p>
<p>“HAWTHORN! Beelly HAWTHORN! At the big white house on Main Street! You sold me them chickens, said they’d gimme aiggs! They ain’t! Wha’choo gonna do about it! Huh? Wha’choo gonna doo? I think you oughta do something! Where you live anyway?”</p>
<p>I looked across the room at the screen door, wishing it were latched. Unfortunately I have a telephone that is operated with a coil cord and it wouldn’t stretch that far. It was obvious I was going to have to rely on my wits, my memory, and whatever else I could muster up. Well folks, I admit, I didn’t know whether to lock the door or hang up. My mind was missin’ too many details. Then it dawned on me...maybe I was hearing the name all wrong.</p>
<p>I bent over to look at the phone cradle thingy, looked at the little screen thingy, checked caller ID and saw the name, “DAVE WHITINGER”!!!</p>
<p>All I could do was bust out laughing! I laughed so hard I cried! Eventually I told Dave who HE was and he started talking normal again! He was so proud of himself! He really pulled it off! And the laughter I heard at his end of the line was giving my laughter definite competition!</p>
<p>To this day, that has to be the most successful and best prank ever pulled on me! And to this day, I thoroughly enjoy it! It guarantees a smile every time I think of it!</p>
<p>Folks, ya see what we have to work with, eh?</p>
<p>Ain’t it a treasure, this life we live?</p>
<p>Happy Day to All! </p>

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