Bare with me....this is going to be long.
Last week, on the way home from taking my sister to have her port flushed, my car overheated. We had looked around a bit at a couple thrift stores, a couple plant nurseries, & stopped at a drive thru (because the lobby was closed) for something to eat. So it was 7 or 8 p.m. At a few stops I had left the car running because my nephew didn't want to go in & it gave us a chance to charge our phones. I did do a lot of gunning I guess to change lanes on the interstate & a few times I was on those exits you come off of but further down its another exit, which are horrible when it's 3 lanes of vehicles rushing & changing lanes. A light came on the dashboard that said the A/C was turned off due to high engine temperature (or something similar). So I turned the A/C off as I'm looking at the dashboard & see my temperature gauge is at the hot point. So I immediately look in my mirror & change lanes until I've taken some exit. We sit there & the gauge goes down almost to where it was before our trip. So I pull back onto the road & go just a few feet & it goes back up. So I pull over onto the grassy part where a church is. We have no idea where we are, what street we're on. So we Google the name of the church & the muffler shop next door. We don't know what to do. Nothing's open, we aren't sure where we are, we aren't sure about the neighborhood we're in, & we're an hour from home & not sure how we are getting home. I call my husband but there's not much he can do, at home on oxygen & I'm in our only transportation. My sister calls another of her son's since he lived in the Shreveport/Bossier City area for several years before moving. His dad came to see if maybe I just needed coolant (I didn't) & tried to give it a look over in the dark with nothing but a flashlight & a overhead street light. After moving the car into the church's parking lot, he gave us a ride to Minden. He couldn't give us a ride all the way because he had to be up early for work the next day. So we were able to get our uncle to come get us & carry us the rest of the way home. The nephew gave us the name of a guy who works on vehicles & that's where its been for the past week. At first he thought it was the thermostat but after putting a new one in, its not that. Then he thought it was the water pump & radiator. Its not the water pump but it is the radiator. It's also something to do with the heads. It is going to cost about $2000 to fix. This is in addition to needing transmission work as the transmission is slipping really bad & does this jerking not long after you start driving it. We will be using the money we had put aside to pay someone to fix our riding & push mowers, to pay someone to bushhog our yard, to buy a weedeater, & pay our property taxes. Everything we have & it's still no where what we need. With no ride, I've given my hours to someone else so my income just took a nosedive. To say I've been depressed is an understatement. I look at the empty driveway & it's depressing. I look at the yard, with the grass as high as your thighs in some places (I'm not kidding) & it's depressing. It is also scary because I can't see if there's a snake when I go outside or I let the dogs out.
This is going up the side of the driveway.
Front door
I don't believe I've ever been so low, so depressed, so angry, so hopeless. I would have all these emotions & just start crying. Its like I didn't know how to deal with all the influx of data I was getting.
I've been reading a daily devotional written by Oswald Chambers. I haven't read it in several days so yesterday (September 25) I decided to see what it said:
Yesterday's
And today's (in case you're interested):
Each one of these had a word or two that just struck a cord in me. Made me feel a tinny tiny better. And then a man from church, one of my Facebook friends, posted a Scripture verse.
JEREMIAH 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future.
This verse had a huge impact on me so I did what I always do - I read it again in my study Bible. I also read the verse before & after this verse so as to see the context. Here is the study Bible's explanation of that particular verse:
JEREMIAH 29:12-14
(12)Then you will call on me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. (13) You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart. (14) I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "& will bring you back from captivity [Or, will restore your fortunes].
The study Bible's explanation for these verses was this:
The Lord would restore his people when they turned back to Him & sought Him with all their hearts. There could be no restoration without true repentance. Those who earnestly seek God anywhere & everywhere will, in time, cultivate the sacred art of meeting Him at every crossroad & of feeling His breath in every wind. Through pain & victory, each new step will help them come to know Him better.
I believe that it isn't just the hardships & experiences we have that are God's teaching tools. I believe it is also how we handle those experiences & hardships. How we act & how we react.
Nothing has really changed. The grass is still overgrown & the yard still looks terrible. The car is still in Shreveport, an hour away. We still have no idea how we are going to pay for it or how we're going to get Kenny here & there when needed. When I can go back to work my regular days. But it's like a huge burden has been lifted, & at least for now, I feel like everything's going to be ok.
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