LysmachiaMoon's blog: A Pep Talk to Myself

Sitting on the deck with the morning cup of joe, looking over my domain, watching the birds busy at the feeders. It occurred to me that one of the biggest barriers to achieving my vision for this garden is....me. I am a gardener plagued with self-doubt. I'll put off tackling a big job not because I'm lazy or distracted but because deep down I'm ashamed that I'll make a mistake, fail, and everyone will see just how inept I really am. Invariably, when I finally do get around to doing something, I make a good fist at it, it might not turn out perfect, but I've yet to do something so inane and inept that the local authorities have to be called in to clear the site, rescue survivors, and remove hazards to low-flying aircraft.

And suddenly this little voice in my head said "You know how to do this." And I think that's the voice we all need to listen to, especially women. We're brought up being told (both out loud and more subtly) that we can't. We can't lift heavy things. We can't use a chainsaw. We can't fix a broken tool. We can't pour concrete. We can't build this, that, the other. It's not true. I can keep my house. Do laundry. Plan and cook meals. I can raise a newborn baby kitten to an adult cat. Take care of a child. I can nurse a sick friend. But I can also haul in rocks and build a wall. Pour concrete for walkways and pillars. Plan a garden. Dig it over. Grow veg and put it in jars for the winter. I can feed the birds. I can keep chickens. I can do anything I put my mind and hands to, if I try. No, I probably won't rent a backhoe and dig out huge stumps or boulders, but I bet if I HAD to I could learn how. I probably won't be building an addition on to the house, but if I HAD to , I bet I could. Things I want to do around here (finish building the Folly Wall, build a large stone raised bed, erect an arbor) I CAN do. It may take me a bit of time, I may have to figure out "work arounds" for the heavy things, and that may slow me down, but one thing that I won't let slow me down is self-doubt.

I can do this.

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