Your question is really many in one. Let's take the big issue this time and if you have follow up questions please submit them to the web site like you did this one. First of all there are several types of lavender, some of which do not do well in the Deep South. Our hot, steamy summer weather is too much for them. The type of lavender usually grown for perfumed blooms is English Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia). It just doesn't usually succeed in the south. Other types that should have a better chance are: French Lavender (L. dentata), Lavandin (L. intermedia), and Spanish Lavender (L. stoechas).
However here are some thoughts for giving it your best shot. Lavender is native to the Mediterranean and therefore likes a well drained site with moderate to warm temperatures. In the sultry, humid heat of a southern summer it can melt, especially if kept to wet. Build it a raised mound using compost mixed with your native soil. A little sand added is alright but not necessary. Water periodically to keep the soil a little moist, but take care not to allow it to stay soggy wet. Give it full sun or a little afternoon shade.
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