Hi everyone,
I'm a newbie here but have been lurking for 15+ yrs and growing daylilies even longer.
This spring I ripped out my main bed due to poison ivy invasion 😳 and to make room for new cultivars.
My DH has refused to part with a single fan, esp his favs. He wants to replant EVERY last fan, not give away, nothing. We don't have the room! He's letting clumps grow in the grass (new bed! he says) & in pots, literally soaking until "I" decide where to put them.
Does anyone else have this problem? I know it's a funny problem, but it is a problem! Does anyone have suggestions?

snugharbor, I couldn't get away with just planting randomly in the grass, my DH would only run them over with the mower. When the blooming starts to decline, your DH will have to divide them...and so the problem continues even without new purchases.

I've found it easier to part with a cultivar when a more desirable one comes along. However, I'm still making new beds and expanding old ones. I'm sorry about your issue and certainly can't help to resolve it...obviously. Does it help that I understand the hoarding?

Welcome to the forum!

My husband was that way with iris, particularly with the ones we dug from his grandmother's home. They were historic varieties that grew like weeds, would grow over the top of other plans and choke them out. Plus side, they bloom well regardless of how overgrown they are. I had to sneak out any to give away, but at one point I had literally thousands of the rhizomes. I learned yo be sneaky, and yes, flat out lie..."No dear, I would not dream of giving away YOUR iris. He eventually caught on and started taking them to the back of our lot where they are in too much shade, rarely bloom, but he still had them.

alilyfan said:My husband was that way with iris, particularly with the ones we dug from his grandmother's home. They were historic varieties that grew like weeds, would grow over the top of other plans and choke them out."

@alilyfan - we have that issue as well - we dug daylilies from his mother's garden before she passed away and those are totally untouchable. Thankfully they're very pretty and don't overgrow in the garden.

RobinSeeds said: Does it help that I understand the hoarding?

Yes it does! Your and Alilyfan's methods of sneaking fans off site has me plotting ways to do it with mine.
I did come to the realization that the extreme hardiness of these plants should be included to a greater extent in my seedling program. In the meantime maybe I'll give my neighbors some house warming gifts!

I just don't see the problem

@Frillylily

I totally feel you, and its not really that funny to live it. I can throw away nothing, it has to be planted randomly someplace. The culled daylilies get dragged out of the compost. If it roots( like begonias) its rooting someplace and spawning mosquitoes. If it came from someone in his family I cant even prune it, thats killing it you know

Oh, I forgot that one, Pam! On of my inherited iris is capable of forming long rhizomes, I mean 10" or so, and can form new plants all along that. The reason it can multiply so fast, and the more overgrown it is, the longer the rhizomes grow. Just try cutting those rhizomes back to normal iris size!

I have much the same problem, myself. Just yesterday I dug up a small dead tree and replaced it....then potted up the dead tree in the hopes it might magically come back to life at some point. I have no space for it if it does come back to life. But still..
My saving grace is that I have found I can give stuff away, as long as it is alive when it leaves me I feel I have done my job and I can move on, like it was a child who has just left home to live elsewhere.
I have also taken up 'guerrilla gardening' which helps me get rid of non-invasive things I no longer need. Oh, and the Nextdoor app is fantastic to advertise free stuff for neighbors to come collect, even from a few towns away.
But yes, this is a problem I have. If it is alive, I can find a spot for it somewhere. Of-course, when you break up a hosta clump into 20 bits that can be a challenge sometimes.
I guess perhaps I was brought up to be frugal, and always finish my plate before leaving the table. The idea of wasting something is abhorrent now it has been drummed into me. I guess I need deprogramming, too.

Wow. I have on occasion lamented my husbands total lack of interest in the garden. I'm over it. He did fall in love with one daylily a few years back. It was "Commands Attention" which is a glorious daylily, but I'm into spider/ufo mode, so the charm wore off for me. It developed into a HUGE plant. After I explained that I wanted to create a special bed just for "his" daylily, that he would need to weed and care for, he was fine with me digging it and gifting it to my Mom. They both love the big fluffy ones. But he doesn't love any of them enough to take responsibility for their care. So he has absolutely no say in what I grow. Sounds mean, but it isn't. If you are the one doing the work, it's your call, not his.

I can't get rid of anything. Except lily of the valley, vinca and Ditch Lily, all of which I cheerfully pitch into the woods.

I have that problem... I can't even imagine getting rid of any of mine but then again, I have the space to spare.
Maybe you could look into seeing if there's a community or church garden near you and suggest donating them so other people can enjoy them just as much as he does?
Just a thought
~C

Hi Cassandra! Thats what I did last year I had so much Wabash iris last year that after I replanted some of it in other locations, I gave a bunch to a friend who donated them to her church that was redoing their gardens. Here's a photo of one that opened today... I still have plenty!

I have the same problem with all my perennial plants. But then talking to friends and family members I found out they had an interest in gardening and starting giving plants to them. It was greatly satisfying seeing them enjoy the plants I have spent years tending. Not that my garden isn't still full but it also gives me a spot to try a new species or variety.

I'm with plasko20. Guerrilla Gardening is the way to go. You still get to enjoy your babies while beautifying places in town that need it.

Maybe try to think of it this way: Giving away (divisions of) plants you love to friends, family and neighbours means you have back-ups if something horrendous befalls your beloved plants - like someone nearby not being careful when they spray weedkiller (we lost a new hedge that way) or some natural disaster.

Oh my gosh! I am astonished there are so many daylilies that I can obtain. I love this website! I shall return.