At first I thought of Tall Verbena (Verbena bonariensis) but I don't think that's right and I don't really have a clue. It sure is pretty whatever it is and I hope someone comes along with an ID real soon because I'm very curious ... gorgeous photo!
~ I'm an old gal who still loves playing in the dirt!
~ Playing in the dirt is my therapy ... and I'm in therapy a lot!
Arlene, I thought the same thing but what I wondered is whether it got zapped by cold and if that might explain the somewhat different look. I think they tend not to be hardy colder than zone 6 and sometimes things that flower late in the year don't get a chance to fully do their thing if there's an early cold snap. It might be something else, it wouldn't be hardy here so I don't actually know what it looks like when frosted/frozen. I've only grown Caryopteris in the equivalent of USDA Zone 9
Arlene, I don't suppose your friend can go back and snip off a stem? If it is Pycnanthemum the stem should be square (mint family). Do you know if it is growing wild or cultivated?
It's not your eyes, Lin, or if it is then it's my eyes too The leaves on Arlene's plant do look narrower than the bluest Pycnanthemum in the pics, which was P. muticum.