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This thread is in reply to a blog post by lovemyhouse entitled "Breathe deep the gathering gloom".
Name: Ann ~Heat zn 9, Sunset
North Fl. (Zone 8b)
Garden Sages Native Plants and Wildflowers Xeriscape Organic Gardener I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Garden Ideas: Master Level
Butterflies Charter ATP Member Plant Identifier Region: Florida Dog Lover Birds
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flaflwrgrl
Apr 9, 2013 12:38 PM CST
Breathe, just breathe. And again.
You seem to have the knack & presence of mind to handling the situation with older mama. Me, I would have been screaming at her by now & heavy handedly issuing ultimatums & just plain PO'd & letting her know JUST how much. I used to have such amazing patience but it ran away. Hilarious!

She's 19 right? I *would* tell her I wasn't going to pay for her smokes anymore. She needs to quit anyway. Better at this age than years down the line. That doesn't come under the food, clothing & shelter umbrella. No one is going to die from lack of smokes but they can die from lack of food. Just my 2 cents worth. (And I'm a smoker) If she gets a job & can carry her load of the expenses & still have enough left over to pay for cigarettes then it's her decision. I'm just sayin'.
I am a strong believer in the simple fact is that what matters in this life is how we treat others. I think that's what living is all about. Not what I've done in my life but how I've treated others.
~~ Sharon Brown ~~



Name: Debra
Garland, TX (NE Dallas suburb) (Zone 8a)
Service dogs: Angels with paws.
Dragonflies Dog Lover I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Garden Photography Bee Lover Plays in the sandbox
Butterflies Region: Texas I sent a postcard to Randy! Charter ATP Member Annuals Garden Sages
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lovemyhouse
Apr 9, 2013 1:39 PM CST
Ann, five--no, two years--no, six MONTHS ago, I'd be doing the same. I figured out, though (finally), that they are so used to screaming and being in trouble, that they are immune to any discipline of that kind. So, I am trying to be reasonable and matter-of-fact. You want to to do that? Fine, here are the ramifications. Your choices, your consequences--good AND bad.

My sister buys their cigarettes and they only get so many from Friday to Friday. I refuse to. Smoked myself for about 18 years. Quit in 1993? '94? Somewhere in there, anyway. It isn't the smoking, per se, that I object to with these girls. It is the times they HAVE to smoke when they should be doing something for their kids. And the horrid expense of them nowadays. My sister simply doesn't have the money to keep this up. The girl is saying that she will pay for her own smokes and plans to pay her own phone bill, too, if/when she starts working. Going to hold her to that.
If you don't ask, the answer is always 'no.'
Name: Ann ~Heat zn 9, Sunset
North Fl. (Zone 8b)
Garden Sages Native Plants and Wildflowers Xeriscape Organic Gardener I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Garden Ideas: Master Level
Butterflies Charter ATP Member Plant Identifier Region: Florida Dog Lover Birds
Image
flaflwrgrl
Apr 9, 2013 5:40 PM CST
Sounds like a plan Debra. Thumbs up

I'm glad you figured out what works for them. I still don't know that my fuse wouldn't be too short despite knowing better than to scream. Glad I'm not the one being tested that way. Rolling my eyes.
I am a strong believer in the simple fact is that what matters in this life is how we treat others. I think that's what living is all about. Not what I've done in my life but how I've treated others.
~~ Sharon Brown ~~



Name: Debra
Garland, TX (NE Dallas suburb) (Zone 8a)
Service dogs: Angels with paws.
Dragonflies Dog Lover I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Garden Photography Bee Lover Plays in the sandbox
Butterflies Region: Texas I sent a postcard to Randy! Charter ATP Member Annuals Garden Sages
Image
lovemyhouse
Apr 9, 2013 5:47 PM CST
...an I'm tryin' real hard to pass my test because I fear what will happen to the babies if I fail. Crying
If you don't ask, the answer is always 'no.'
Name: Ann ~Heat zn 9, Sunset
North Fl. (Zone 8b)
Garden Sages Native Plants and Wildflowers Xeriscape Organic Gardener I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Garden Ideas: Master Level
Butterflies Charter ATP Member Plant Identifier Region: Florida Dog Lover Birds
Image
flaflwrgrl
Apr 9, 2013 6:42 PM CST
I know. The babies are uppermost in my mind too. Those damned rocks & hard spots. Glare
I am a strong believer in the simple fact is that what matters in this life is how we treat others. I think that's what living is all about. Not what I've done in my life but how I've treated others.
~~ Sharon Brown ~~



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