I don't know why we persist in thinking that we have the power over anyone's life or death but we do. That's human nature I guess. Maybe it's because there are certain instances where one or more individuals DO save someone such as giving CPR or firefighters who get people to safety & circumstances such as that. But we can NOT save someone who does not have the willpower to save themselves as in the case of drug addiction or alcoholism. They MUST save themselves. We have no power over that. If they are not willing or able to save themselves then we can not do it for them. We want to with all our might but we just can't. They will sink or swim on their own ~~~ we can do nothing until or unless THEY want to swim ~~~ then & only then, we may be able to lend a helping hand; but even then, the the ultimate survival rests on their shoulders. You can not save someone IN SPITE of themselves. I & my family were not able to save my brother but I know there was nothing I could do to make him want to save himself. I still mourn his death & a wasted life that began so full of love & compassion for all God's creatures, a kind & gentle soul. But I do not beat myself up that I could not make him live to a ripe old age.
AA has a saying for the family members of alcoholics & it is oh so true:
It is called the Three C's:
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
And I can't cure it
i'm good most of the time, it's just days like yesterday that i regress for awhile. 
