With all this rain over the last three weeks, I turn to humor instead of frustration. My 'Jersey Shore' side takes over. So here is my list of symptoms of 'Iris Virus';
January - All the beds are nice and clean, fans trimmed, dirt showing and you say to yourself, "They look OK. Maybe I do have room for a few more. But this year no more then ten or so 'newbies'.
February - "Come on you guys, open your site already. I mean, what's the big deal" You keep scanning your list of favorite sites, you even send E-mail to a few inquiring on the opening date. You post the answer in the forums.
March - You put in your first order, attempting to stick to your 'wish list''. You post what you ordered on the forums. Then you read what everyone else is ordering and you begin to think "Oh man, I have to have that one too". There goes the "But no more then ten".
April - Now the real fun begins. You pace the beds a few times a day, looking for fat leaves. How exciting it is to find the first 'pregnant' Fan. You post the good tidings on the forums.
May - Finally. The first few bloom stalks. Then bunches more of bloom stalks. You are now worse then your kids were on Christmas morning. You might as well just glue a camera to your hand. You primp up the blooms to look their best, prop up the lazy ones, cut a few fans here and there to get the best photos. You post the photos on the forums. You look at all the other photos on the forums and say "Hey, I might as well add to that order". You contact the seller and it's a done deal, order added!!
June - With the bloom season behind you, the next cycle of cleanup begins. Old stalks to cut, outer fans removed, clean any stuff between the clumps, etc. Then a mild form of panic sets in. You notice that the dirt that was visible last January has completely disappeared, if your clumps could talk they would be saying "He's touching me!". Then it hits with full force, "Oh man, what did I do". You share this your friends on the forums and they respond with "Buy pots". OK, sounds good. Momentary relief.
July - Boxes suddenly start showing up on your doorstep. First from the suppliers. One, then two, then "Oh my". You take each one out, clean it, lay it out in a nice line of 'newbies'. Then "I don't remember ordering that. Oh crap, I forgot about the bonuses. Guess I need to order some more pots. OK, no biggie, I'm still under control". Then the 'gift boxes' These are actually wheel barrows that can be mailed. What a concept!!
August - "Whewwwww, that was close. They are all planted. That wasn't so bad. But next year, I swear. No more then ten.
September - "Sheezzz, I thought I had more rebloomers tham that. Guess I should start my 'wish list' for next year".
October - You get to take a short breather. Planting and relocating is done. OK, so a few of your neighbors have sighs on the lawn saying "No dumping iris here". They really love iris, they just don't know it yet.
November - Some wise guy posts on the forums "The Sisters are having their end of season 'fourfer' sale.". And look at that, there are the Aussies that you have always wanted. OK, maybe it really isn't to late to plant. Then the posts on the forums "I won, I won". Do a desperate search for bare ground, dig a whole, plant the rhizome. Cover it with straw, it will be OK.
December - Wow. I made it through the year. OK, so I have potted Iris coming out of my ears. I'm OK. At least I'm not as bad as so-in-so. THEY are really over the top.
Many blessings.
