And I didn't mean to sound like such a dilettante! Now that they're mine, I feel that motherly obligation to figure out how to 1) not kill them, 2) help them flourish.
I've rearranged: succulents in one well-drained bowl, cacti in another. There's one (the cute dark green spikey guy in the middle if the succulents) that I guessed on. I knew they all wanted different things!
Now I'll just ignore the cactus as they all bite - until they need attention or bigger pots. Those things on them wanting to be "flowers"? They seem glued on and not real at all.
Direct sun, I've learned, means something different in the desert. I'll get 'em plenty of bright bright sunny shade!
Thanks, you'all!