Bill, so sorry to hear about the family troubles; I know how overwhelming it can be when it comes to elderly parents.
My mother in law drove until she was 90 when we found out that she'd been getting lost going to her church which she'd been a member of for 50 years. She lived about 40 minutes from us and we were visiting one day when she told us that she had a recent incident when going to church and suddenly didn't know where she was! She pulled into a business along the road and asked them for directions to the street where the church was located (luckily she remembered the street name!) She apparently got home okay but we didn't hear about the issue until a month or so later and one of her neighbors mentioned to me that it had happened numerous times! Both of her sons talked to her and she made the decision to stop driving; soon after she moved into assisted living right around the corner from us where she remained until she passed at the age of 97. My husband brought her car to our house where it sat for a few months because she "just wasn't ready to sell it yet". Her drivers license was coming up for renewal so I took her to the DL office; the only requirement was an eye test and they let me go with her instead of staying in the lobby. I stood in the back corner of the room to be out of the way and there were folks at the counter looking through the machines taking the eye test. I heard the examiner say to my mother in law "Mrs. K, can you read line B for me?" Then I heard her ask again, then she asked her to read line A. I could tell by the expression that something was up and then the examiner motioned for me to come to the corner of the counter where she asked me if there were any problems they should know about. I told her that I was just her daughter in law but that none of us (family) felt she should be driving any longer because she'd been getting lost. The examiner said she needed to talk to her supervisor who came out and asked my MIL a few additional questions one being "Mrs. K, do you know who the president of the United States is?" She had to ask twice and there was silence and the second time my mother in law replied "Well, of course I do!" Then there was a moment of silence and the supervisor asked "Well, Mrs. K, can you tell me who the president is?" To which my MIL replied, "Well of course, it's Harry Truman!" Everyone in the room turned and looked wide eyed and a few smiled. The supervisor called me over and said that under Florida law they could not refuse to issue a drivers license to anyone unless they had an order from a medical professional and I said well, she really should not be driving. So, the supervisor went back and told my MIL that for renewal she would also need to take the driving test and my mother in law said "Okay, I can do a driving test." My mother in law was an itty bitty little thing, not even 5' tall and I immediately said "Mother, remember we aren't in your little car, we're in your son's huge pick up truck and she said "Oh my, I can't drive that big truck, I guess we'll have to go get my car and come back!" The supervisor winked at me and gave me a thumbs up and then handed my mother in law a book and told her she could study it and when she was ready to come on back. That little book sat on an end table in her living room for quite awhile and she never mentioned it but my husband a couple of times would say "Mother, did you get a chance to look through and study that book yet?" She always said no that she just hadn't had time. I told her that she didn't really need to drive because I was always taking her to the store, bank, dr. appt's., etc. and she said yes, that's right and she told my husband to go ahead and sell her car. Whew! It was funny though; I took her to get a Florida ID card which looks identical to a drivers license but it's for identification purposes only and states that on the front. She made me promise not to tell anyone at the ALF where she lived that she didn't have a drivers license anymore!
It is so difficult for the elderly when they lose their independence. Many know that they should not be driving any longer but it's very hard for them to admit it. My friends mother did not want to give up her car or driving but major health issues ended up forcing it to happen. I live in a community with many, many elderly and some are still wonderful drivers while others really should not be on the roads, even in our gated subdivision! The main road into our subdivision is a four lane divided highway and of course the folks on the highway turning into the neighborhood have the right of way. I've been screamed at a couple of times by the same old man who is coming out of the subdivision to cross the highway going in the opposite direction and I'm trying to turn in. He blasts his horn and waves his arms and yells thinking he has the right of way when he has a stop sign. I'm surprised there aren't more accidents ... wish they'd put a stop light up but the city has refused.
Ok ... just realized how I'm rambling here so I will stop.
Can't wait to plant caladium bulbs in a couple of months and see those pretty leaves emerge!
