lovemyhouse's blog: feel like breaking, When you really just need to bend...

Posted on Jul 12, 2014 9:57 PM

Been awhile since Shorty got out of jail. Not much improvement. She still won’t put down the never-to-be-sufficiently-accursed phone and take care of her daughter.
Long time later. Haven’t felt up to writing. Blondy tried to take advantage of me in caring for boy-child once too often. Told her what would happen if she did it again and she did it again—the very next week. I no longer watch him or provide any of his supplies. She is moving to Greenville with him to live with the boyfriend-of-the-week. I cry every time I think about it. They were all here last week and I can already see the signs that he isn’t being tended to as he should be. I don’t mean abused or anything like that, but he isn’t getting attention and is being bounced from place to place and person to person as his mother changes boyfriends like I change my socks. And, for all my tough talk to them, there isn’t a single thing I can do. It hurts. And I miss him. Won’t be held hostage in my own house until she decides to pick him up when it suits her, but I do miss him. A lot.
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Situation with sister and Shorty is getting so discouraging. Shorty was no-billed and charges dropped. NOW we find out sister won’t get any of the bond money back, that the whole amount is their FEE! Shorty has been at sister’s fiance’s house for a week. Think she is trying to accelerate the move over there.
Couple weeks later. Yep, soon as that room opened up Sister and Shorty made plans to go on and move. I, of course, had to guess and ask leading questions because far be it from them to just TELL me what they were going to do…sigh…maybe in some lifetime I will figure out what I did to indicate that this kind of “disregard her” behavior was acceptable. Maybe they just think I have been so horrible to these 'kids' that they don't have to be courteous? Dunno, doesn't make any difference at this point. Just…onward and upward.

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Been taking advantage of the fact that I am no longer getting up by 7:00 to take care of toddlers and/or fix sister’s breakfast and pack her work lunch. I am actually waking up naturally—at dawn. Which is weird because I was always a late sleeper. Now, though, with the summer temperatures climbing, I go outside almost as soon as I wake up to work in the yard until the sun comes over the trees. Gives me a nice productive feeling for the rest of the day even if I do nothing else besides play on the computer and lay around reading. :-p

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Had to have pest control come spray--expensive spray. They said it was carpenter ants. All I know is that something is eating my house. And something else is destroying my garage. Was told there is old termite damage and a lot of dry rot. The back wall damage there has been fixed after the city sent a letter, so I shouldn’t get a fine, but the whole structure is in bad shape. And I have no idea how much damage has been done to the house. Don’t even know who to call to ask. Found that there is a home rehabilitation program through the city. Sent in the application, fingers crossed on approval. If not, I don’t know what I will do because I sure don’t have the money for repairs or reconstruction. Been having dizzy spells I can’t account for and this situation isn’t helping. More stress, more stress…sigh…More need to go dig in the dirt. I'll be halfway to China by next week at this rate.

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Waiting for the Roundup concentrate to work on saplings. Have some entwined in the Caryopteris smack in the middle of the baseball bed. Only way to get rid of the treelings is to take out the shrub, too. Good thing I have gabzillions of those seedlings in pots and can easily replace it. That can wait for cooler temperatures, though. First priority is to clear out the saplings from the area where the greenhouse is going. Oh, yeah, the moving next-door neighbors GAVE me a greenhouse. How cool is that?
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Feel peculiar. Pretty sure I have had some form of PTSD from that last job and am still having bad dreams about the boss and such. Truly, I think having all these people and their aggravations helped me to focus on something else at a time when I needed the distraction. So, even though sister (and her fiancé and her son) and Shorty and Blondy all think I am some kind of monster because I expect accountability and make no bones about saying so to any of them, their stay in the house this last 18 months has been beneficial for me. Just have to make sure I don’t backslide into that black pit.

Slowly getting used to having the house to myself and being able to get my ‘crafty’ stuff out of the closet and spread it around. Got the aluminum sign I had made for Jillian Smith to put with the memorial Japanese Maple and will be finding out just how well E6000 holds up to Texas in the summertime (glued an H-frame to the back). Really pleased with the design. Think I did a right nice job.

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Getting more dirt and such from Lowes tomorrow for the new Iris bed going alongside the house. If that predicted cold front actually comes to stay for awhile AND actually has some COLD (for summer) temperatures, I can get a lot done next week before the hermitzing heat is back.

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I cannot believe the generosity of some folks. This Spring, I received 60+ named Iris that were given to me; some in trade, but mostly for postage. The entire look of my yard is going to change as I put in new beds to hold them and remove about half the Daylilies to make additional room. Found my interest in them waning rapidly this year and I am planning to donate what I dig. Still love the flowers’ colors and forms, but discovered I want a flower that stays on the stalk for more than a single day. Ones I can cut for the vase and still have them looking good two days later. After the Iris are all planted, I will take a closer look at companion plants. Fun to research and something positive to which I can look forward, which hasn't been all that easy to find lately. And I do feel exceedingly thankful for all the help I have been given in navigating a clean(ish) way through the muck and the mire and the plain "just-messed-up" stuff of the last two years.
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