Irises forum: I'm...going to take a break.

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Name: Monty Riggles
Henry County, Virginia (Zone 7a)
Oops. The weeds took over!
Irises Region: Virginia Keeper of Poultry Cat Lover Garden Procrastinator
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UndyingLight
May 6, 2019 10:31 PM CST
I do not know what is going on lately. I feel like I did something here and it made a few people mad, as because they are not acknowledging me at all, and I'm beginning to wonder if I really did make them upset with me.

A lot is going on, too much. And I know I've been a bit pushy here lately, but it is because I am excited about what is happening. This time of year is my favourite, and I finally have found a place where I can live life and enjoy talking and dreaming about plants.

Maybe I'm just high on medicine they're giving me after this surgery, but not hearing, not knowing, and not seeing the reason why certain people have seemed to not respond to me has me worried sick. It's never ever been my goal to make someone upset, and when I inevitably do, I always feel so bad about it until I or they can make it fully 100% right.

I also know that a lot of y'all are planning to send me gifts, all of which I say I don't deserve, but please don't think I'm trying to get a leg up on you or use you just so I can have more irises. That has NEVER been my goal and it NEVER will be. I don't like to ask, but sometimes I do anyways and I could understand if it is a problem and that's why perhaps some aren't talking to me any more. Or may even that they're just so busy that they do not have the time to.

At any rate, my goal here is to say I am really, really sorry if I have offended any one of you in any way and I want to do just about anything to fix it, which includes leaving the NGA site and the Iris forums if it calls for that. I do not want to leave because I love it here, you all are like family to me and I truly mean it. I've decided that it may just be best if I take a small break from the iris forums so that if there are any issues, they can resolve peacefully and not end up in tears.

I thank you all so much for all you have blessed me with, if I deserved it or not. Thank you really. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but it could be awhile. There's no way I'm going to stop visit this site though I may not chat here. I may keep posting every once in awhile in my thread, but that may be it.

Thank you for all you've done again, and I hope this can all be resolved soon. Crossing Fingers! Crossing Fingers! Group hug
Dolly the chicken thinks my head is food!
(Zone 9b)
Region: California
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UndertheSun
May 6, 2019 11:44 PM CST
I hope I'm not one of the people you feel are ignoring you. I'm so far behind on threads and comments.

Just keep in mind that it's a busy garden time for everyone right now. Heck, I just heard back from someone I sent a message to a few months ago. There's also several forum members that have gone MIA right now. Which is concerning and I hope that they make their way back. It would be a shame to lose you too, but I respect your decision.

For the record, you've never offended me, or made me feel ill will towards you in anyway.
Name: Joshua
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia (Zone 10b)
Köppen Climate Zone Cfb
Region: Australia Bookworm Cat Lover Lilies Orchids Irises
Seed Starter Annuals Container Gardener Garden Photography Forum moderator Avid Green Pages Reviewer
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Australis
May 6, 2019 11:46 PM CST

Plants Admin

Hi Monty,

I don't think you've offended or upset anyone. It's probably a combination of things - your recent health issues, for example, or various members being particularly busy recently (it is Spring in the US, after all). Please look after yourself and I'm sure we'll be happy to have you back on the forums when you decide to return.
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The current profile image is that of Iris 'Volcanic Glow'.
[Last edited by Australis - May 6, 2019 11:46 PM (+)]
Give a thumbs up | Quote | Post #1967537 (3)
WA (Zone 8b)
Roses Photo Contest Winner: 2016
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Rebekah
May 7, 2019 12:04 AM CST
Probably people are just outside trying to keep up on everything. I come home from work and begin running around watering plants, cleaning, caring for animals and chatting with the hubs before going to bed and I'm always behind on something. This gardening forum is the most socializing I do really Sticking tongue out
Name: Tom
Southern Wisconsin (Zone 5b)
Irises Vegetable Grower Butterflies Region: Wisconsin Keeps Horses Cat Lover
Dog Lover Keeper of Poultry Daylilies Celebrating Gardening: 2015
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tveguy3
May 7, 2019 3:06 AM CST
There are way too many active threads on here for me to keep up with all of them. I have to be selective, and don't always have time to make comments on the ones I have time to view. Sometimes giving a thumb is the best I can do. I know others are in the same boat. You can't take it personal. I enjoy your youthful energy on here, and plan to keep my word in sending some irises for postage. Now I have to go feed my 20 horses, clean barns, take horses out to their pastures, and hope the weather is nice enough so I can either mow the lawn again, or work in the iris beds, or both for a few hours before I go do a repeat of this mornings horse chores. Smiling Group hug
I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great
Name: Lucy
Hamilton, MA (Zone 6b)
irises
Charter ATP Member Cottage Gardener Enjoys or suffers cold winters Region: United Kingdom Region: Northeast US Irises
Region: United States of America
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irisarian
May 7, 2019 6:25 AM CST
right now our garden has very few irises in bloom, it's early yet, so no comments. following you & hoping for your good health.
Name: Liz
East Dover, VT (Zone 5a)
Lover of wildlife (Raccoon badge) Organic Gardener Peonies Vegetable Grower Annuals Composter
Dragonflies Enjoys or suffers cold winters Enjoys or suffers hot summers Farmer Garden Photography Lover of wildlife (Black bear badge)
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Dachsylady86
May 7, 2019 6:51 AM CST
Busy time of year for me too. I've almost completely dipped out of the threads. I pop on only for a few minutes a day and haven't made any comments, just liking pictures here and there. I haven't even been reading any of the posts just looking at pictures. We all come back in the end.

How's your cutie pie goat doing? Lovey dubby
Name: Deborah
midstate South Carolina (Zone 8a)
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!
Charter ATP Member Amaryllis Region: United States of America Tropicals Seed Starter Plumerias
Plant and/or Seed Trader Peonies Lilies Irises Hummingbirder Echinacea
Deebie
May 7, 2019 7:32 AM CST
Monty please remember also that some members have full time jobs and gardening is a hobby for them. I hope that I'm not one who has ignored you. I truly enjoy your comments and photos on the forum and will miss them. Hope your retreat is very brief. Take care of yourself in the meantime.
Name: Casey
North Carolina (Zone 7b)
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greenappleagnes
May 7, 2019 7:45 AM CST
Monty, I agree with all. This is a busy time of the year with a lot of wants and needs on the to-do list but not a lot of time, especially with a full time job. I find that I play catch-up on the threads in July and August when it's just too hot to be outside.

I hope that you won't be away too long. I'll miss your enthusiasm, kind words and encouragement, and your willingness to learn and share. Please take care. Smiling
Name: Anne Peck
Indiana (Zone 5b)
Anne wants more plants
Irises
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queenanne42
May 7, 2019 7:49 AM CST
I read these forums everyday and I have never noticed you doing or saying anything offensive. Most people are probably just busy. I rarely post myself, but that doesn't mean anything. I always love your posts. You have so much enthusiasm for your garden its infectious. I hope you take care of yourself and that you begin to feel better soon. We will keep the light on for you. Group hug
Name: Leon
Indiana (Zone 5a)
Light is the shadow of God!
Charter ATP Member I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Celebrating Gardening: 2015 Region: United States of America Region: Indiana Vegetable Grower
Garden Ideas: Master Level Peonies Hummingbirder Cat Lover Dog Lover Million Pollinator Garden Challenge
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TBGDN
May 7, 2019 8:14 AM CST
I must comment Monty. You have never been offensive or disrespectful to anyone here. As the others have said it is a very busy time of the year and it can be difficult to keep up with all the threads. Speaking for myself I do not try to follow every thread; and my schedule is tied up with outdoor yard and garden work. And I'm sure others must have busy routines also. As Casey has said in another post, "I'll miss your enthusiasm, kind words and encouragement, and your willingness to learn and share. Please take care." Smiling
Even a fool, when he shuts his mouth, is counted (as being) wise.Proverbs 17:28
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Name: Evelyn
Northern CA (Zone 8a)
Hybridizer Region: United States of America Region: California Annuals Bulbs Butterflies
Cat Lover Foliage Fan Irises Organic Gardener Plant and/or Seed Trader Seed Starter
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evelyninthegarden
May 7, 2019 9:50 AM CST
Monty ~ The main thing for you now is to take care of your health. That has to be your main priority. We all wish you a speedy recovery from your serious infection. Please take care of yourself. Group hug Group hug Group hug
"June is busting out all over!"🎼🎶🎵🦋🌹🌸🌾
Name: Jan Wax
Mendocino County, N. CA (Zone 9a)
I'm a studio potter.
Hummingbirder Dog Lover Irises Region: California Organic Gardener Dahlias
Garden Art Cat Lover Vegetable Grower Birds Celebrating Gardening: 2015
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janwax
May 7, 2019 2:56 PM CST
evelyninthegarden said:Monty ~ The main thing for you now is to take care of your health. That has to be your main priority. We all wish you a speedy recovery from your serious infection. Please take care of yourself. Group hug Group hug Group hug


I agree! Get well, Monty. People have very busy lives sometimes. I'm working in my studio getting ready for an open studio artists' tour, and I just dip in and out of various threads when I have time. We've had deaths in the family - My mother-in-law died recently at the age of 100. Dealing with that. You haven't offended anyone, as far as I can tell, friend. Keep growing your garden!
let the mystery be
[Last edited by janwax - May 7, 2019 2:57 PM (+)]
Give a thumbs up | Quote | Post #1968046 (13)
Name: DaisyDo
close to Baltimore, MD (Zone 7a)
Irises Cat Lover Plant and/or Seed Trader Organic Gardener
DaisyDo
May 7, 2019 3:37 PM CST
Monty,

You haven't offended me, and I hope that I've said nothing that offends you.

Take care of yourself.
Name: Tom
Southern Wisconsin (Zone 5b)
Irises Vegetable Grower Butterflies Region: Wisconsin Keeps Horses Cat Lover
Dog Lover Keeper of Poultry Daylilies Celebrating Gardening: 2015
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tveguy3
May 7, 2019 4:21 PM CST
So sorry to hear of the death of your mother-in-law, Jan. Such a long life though, how nice.
I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great
Name: Sharon Rose
Grapevine, TX (Zone 8a)
Grace of the Lord Jesus be with all
Daylilies Composter Cottage Gardener Hibiscus Enjoys or suffers hot summers Zinnias
Salvias Bulbs Amaryllis Lilies Clematis Region: Texas
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Altheabyanothername
May 7, 2019 4:55 PM CST
Monty...I really do not know you... but what I do know is that you have such a beautiful and giving personality. You are extra encouraging to others. I do not really belong to any group at NGA...no specialty...more of a general gardener. I really do not spend much time in any one forum. So I could be considered a lurker for lack of a better word. YOU were the reason I started to make some comments on the iris forums. I was IMPRESSED with the time, love, and generosity others here had for YOU. This is the time of year that people are very busy and close to being overwhelmed. A garden is alive and needs excessive care at certain times of the year. That being said...pain medications can alter ones perspective...I think you will find you are very well liked. I have enjoyed your iris ratings. May you be blessed with sleep...to help heal from your surgery.

May God Bless You Abundantly Your Whole Life!
One to take to heart....1 John 4
Name: Monty Riggles
Henry County, Virginia (Zone 7a)
Oops. The weeds took over!
Irises Region: Virginia Keeper of Poultry Cat Lover Garden Procrastinator
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UndyingLight
May 7, 2019 5:02 PM CST
Everyone, I fully, *fully* realize that this is a time in the year that everyone's so busy and enjoying their garden like I do and there is not a single problem with that in my mind, or if you choose to spend time on only a few threads, but there is a difference with what I am meaning.

The person who I will leave unnamed out of respect has in the past, commented on pretty much anything I said and gave me thumbs up. Now this person is not doing that, and has not replied to an apology letter I sent her, because I thought I made her upset. Is she busy? Perhaps, but I see her commenting to everybody else on the forums BUT me. I see them posting very often and replying to everyone other than me, so I'm just left wondering. What did I do? Why is this person seeming to ignore me?
It's really upsetting to me because I never try to offend anybody, and it certainly does not help my cause to fix the issue if they don't tell me. I have my queries about what it may have been that upset them, but unless they actually tell me, I can't be 100% sure.

Everyone's busy. I can fully understand and appreciate that, but just know to who you are that hasn't responded to me, it hurts not knowing what I did to upset you. Sad

----
I left this out of my initial post as well, but, many of you, and every one who has posted so far on this thread has not offended me myself or have done me wrong in any way, and I'm ever glad to see you feel the same, but if you ever see me doing something that would upset you or know would upset someone else on the forum, PLEASE let me know as I want this place to continue to be what I have always thought it to be, a family friendly place where friends, who treat you as family post about their hobby, their love of gardening and their irises. Thank you.

For everyone who's read this far, I thank you so much for doing so. It really means a lot to me. Another reason to take a break for my sake is because of my surgeries, I can no longer sit down for more than two minutes without some pretty serious pain and prolonging that could cause worse off things. Doctor said I looked fine, despite the infection and a popped stitch, but I do not want to jeopardize this incision and have to retake a surgery or deal with unbearable pain and bleeding. This, on top of my worries I made someone mad have brought me to the point where I think taking a few weeks off so I, and they, can rest up and be at peace again. It's what I would do if it meant the person I offended felt better. Smiling

Thank you for the continued love and support, which I have grown to support and love each and every patron who has and who hasn't showed me that. Being here on the iris forums has brightened my life considerably, and I never want that to change. I'll likely still post on my thread, but it could be awhile before I decide to task myself with the entire iris forums again.

I don't want you all worrying about me - I'm young and I have more energy than some of you do have, but I will try my best to keep rested up and prevent anything very serious from happening. If something were to occur to me that I can't prevent, I can only hope my family and friends would eventually spread the word far enough that it reaches you fine folks here on NGA.

I wish you all the best in healing and in prayer as you've done for me. I'll be around, but I'll see you very soon. Thank you all for all you have done for me, regardless on if this chooses to fix our relationship or not. I tip my hat to you. Smiling

See you soon, and enjoy your beautiful irises and gardens! I so love seeing you smile when they have finally bloomed.

~Monty Smiling
Dolly the chicken thinks my head is food!
Name: Robin
Melbourne, Australia (Zone 10b)
Region: Australia Irises Garden Photography Cat Lover Seed Starter
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Totally_Amazing
May 7, 2019 6:06 PM CST
Group hug Monty. I hope everyone's kind responses show that you are a valued member of this forum. I am a city girl and I have enjoyed seeing photos of your chooks and goats. Thumbs up

I hope I haven't offended anyone when I haven't responded to their posts. There are a lot of active threads at the moment and I have things I need to do in my garden before winter so I tend to be a bit lazy and just give a thumb.

Group hug Jan. I am sorry to hear about your mother in law passing away. When people in Australia make to 100 they receive a congratulatory letter from the queen.


Name: Barbara
Northern CA (Zone 9a)
Region: California Cat Lover Irises Enjoys or suffers hot summers Dog Lover
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iciris
May 7, 2019 6:31 PM CST
TBGDN said:I must comment Monty. You have never been offensive or disrespectful to anyone here. …

I agree 100% with Leon.

UndertheSun said:I hope I'm not one of the people you feel are ignoring you. I'm so far behind on threads and comments.

Just keep in mind that it's a busy garden time for everyone right now. Heck, I just heard back from someone I sent a message to a few months ago. There's also several forum members that have gone MIA right now. Which is concerning and I hope that they make their way back. It would be a shame to lose you too, but I respect your decision.

For the record, you've never offended me, or made me feel ill will towards you in anyway.


Hi Monty, I'm with Rob and I hope I'm not one of the people you feel are ignoring you. I didn't want to post this on the forum for various reasons, but I too had surgery at the end of April.

I'm even going to miss most of my blooms. Blinking I've given a few thumbs for pictures when I was in the hospital, but today has been the first day I've been reading the posts on the forums to any extent. Also I haven't made any comments until this one.…

I lot of us will be sad if you chose to leave!

Your youth and enthusiasm is a part of the future in iris breeding. Group hug
Edit: Jan, I'm so sorry for your loss!
• “Whoever said, ‘Do something right and you won’t have to do it again’ never weeded a garden.” – Anonymous
[Last edited by iciris - May 7, 2019 6:42 PM (+)]
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Name: Marilyn, aka "Poly"
South San Francisco Bay Area (Zone 9b)
"The mountains are calling..."
Region: California Garden Photography Garden Procrastinator Daylilies Pollen collector Dog Lover
Moon Gardener Irises Heucheras Vegetable Grower Garden Ideas: Level 1 Celebrating Gardening: 2015
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Polymerous
May 7, 2019 6:33 PM CST
Jan, so sorry for your loss. Group hug

Monty, please don't be upset. Perhaps the person you are referring to didn't even know that you tried to apologize to them. Perhaps they are simply not responding to treemails from anyone, not just you.

As many people here have already pointed out, this is a VERY busy time of year, even if you have nothing else going on besides the garden. As many people have ALSO pointed out, folks have lives outside of the garden, and they may have little time to drop in on the forum. I know that for myself, sometimes I just want to drop into the forum for a few minutes and read a thread or two, and NOT deal with treemails. (In that vein, I need to apologize to someone here (they know who they are) for not responding to their recent treemail. I've scarcely been on this forum the past several days (I looked at all of ONE thread prior to this one and that other thread was one of yours, Monty) and may not be back on it for the next few-several days.)

We all (well, maybe almost all Shrug! ) value your charming youthful enthusiasm and the energy you bring to this forum. With your offers of trade-backs, I don't think (m)any of us suspect you of being a user - it should be pretty clear that you want to pull your weight and be a contributing (in more than one sense) member of this online community.

You can continue to fret and stew over the situation, which doesn't do YOU any good, or you can let it go, forgive them, and move on.

Praying for your improved health, healing and an end to pain - both physical and mental/emotional. Angel
Evaluating a reblooming diploid daylily seedling

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