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May 19, 2021 9:46 AM CST

Hi everyone,
I'm a newbie here but have been lurking for 15+ yrs and growing daylilies even longer.
This spring I ripped out my main bed due to poison ivy invasion 😳 and to make room for new cultivars.
My DH has refused to part with a single fan, esp his favs. He wants to replant EVERY last fan, not give away, nothing. We don't have the room! He's letting clumps grow in the grass (new bed! he says) & in pots, literally soaking until "I" decide where to put them.
Does anyone else have this problem? I know it's a funny problem, but it is a problem! Does anyone have suggestions?
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Last edited by snugharbor May 19, 2021 9:49 AM Icon for preview
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May 19, 2021 12:41 PM CST
Name: Robin
Southern Michigan (Zone 6a)
Cat Lover Daylilies Region: Michigan Seed Starter Seller of Garden Stuff Million Pollinator Garden Challenge
Hilarious! snugharbor, I couldn't get away with just planting randomly in the grass, my DH would only run them over with the mower. When the blooming starts to decline, your DH will have to divide them...and so the problem continues even without new purchases.

I've found it easier to part with a cultivar when a more desirable one comes along. However, I'm still making new beds and expanding old ones. I'm sorry about your issue and certainly can't help to resolve it...obviously. Does it help that I understand the hoarding?

Welcome to the forum!
God blessed me with dirt.
('Mipii' on The LA)
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May 19, 2021 12:52 PM CST
Name: Nancy
Bowling Green Kentucky (Zone 6b)
My husband was that way with iris, particularly with the ones we dug from his grandmother's home. They were historic varieties that grew like weeds, would grow over the top of other plans and choke them out. Plus side, they bloom well regardless of how overgrown they are. I had to sneak out any to give away, but at one point I had literally thousands of the rhizomes. I learned yo be sneaky, and yes, flat out lie..."No dear, I would not dream of giving away YOUR iris. He eventually caught on and started taking them to the back of our lot where they are in too much shade, rarely bloom, but he still had them.
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May 19, 2021 8:38 PM CST

alilyfan said:My husband was that way with iris, particularly with the ones we dug from his grandmother's home. They were historic varieties that grew like weeds, would grow over the top of other plans and choke them out."


@alilyfan - we have that issue as well - we dug daylilies from his mother's garden before she passed away and those are totally untouchable. Thankfully they're very pretty and don't overgrow in the garden.
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May 19, 2021 8:49 PM CST

RobinSeeds said: Hilarious! Does it help that I understand the hoarding?

Yes it does! Your and Alilyfan's methods of sneaking fans off site has me plotting ways to do it with mine.
I did come to the realization that the extreme hardiness of these plants should be included to a greater extent in my seedling program. In the meantime maybe I'll give my neighbors some house warming gifts! Rolling on the floor laughing
Avatar for Frillylily
May 19, 2021 11:05 PM CST
Missouri (Zone 6a)
I was one of the first 300 contributors to the plant database! Plant Identifier
I just don't see the problem Green Grin! Hilarious!
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May 20, 2021 5:16 AM CST
Name: Dave
Wood Co TX & Huron Co MI
Butterflies Peonies Native Plants and Wildflowers Region: Michigan Irises Hybridizer
Hostas Greenhouse Daylilies Garden Photography Region: Texas
I agree Rolling on the floor laughing
Life is better at the lake.
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May 20, 2021 9:52 AM CST
Name: Robin
Southern Michigan (Zone 6a)
Cat Lover Daylilies Region: Michigan Seed Starter Seller of Garden Stuff Million Pollinator Garden Challenge
God blessed me with dirt.
('Mipii' on The LA)
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May 20, 2021 11:00 AM CST
Name: pam
gainesville fl (Zone 8b)
Bee Lover The WITWIT Badge Region: Ukraine Enjoys or suffers hot summers Pollen collector Native Plants and Wildflowers
Hydrangeas Hummingbirder Dragonflies Daylilies Butterflies Birds
I totally feel you, and its not really that funny to live it. I can throw away nothing, it has to be planted randomly someplace. The culled daylilies get dragged out of the compost. If it roots( like begonias) its rooting someplace and spawning mosquitoes. If it came from someone in his family I cant even prune it, thats killing it you know D'Oh!
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May 20, 2021 11:14 AM CST
Name: Nancy
Bowling Green Kentucky (Zone 6b)
Oh, I forgot that one, Pam! On of my inherited iris is capable of forming long rhizomes, I mean 10" or so, and can form new plants all along that. The reason it can multiply so fast, and the more overgrown it is, the longer the rhizomes grow. Just try cutting those rhizomes back to normal iris size!
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May 20, 2021 11:43 AM CST
Name: Orion
Boston, MA (Zone 6b)
Bee Lover Birds Butterflies Daylilies Dragonflies Foliage Fan
Lilies Lover of wildlife (Raccoon badge)
I have much the same problem, myself. Just yesterday I dug up a small dead tree and replaced it....then potted up the dead tree in the hopes it might magically come back to life at some point. I have no space for it if it does come back to life. But still..
My saving grace is that I have found I can give stuff away, as long as it is alive when it leaves me I feel I have done my job and I can move on, like it was a child who has just left home to live elsewhere.
I have also taken up 'guerrilla gardening' which helps me get rid of non-invasive things I no longer need. Oh, and the Nextdoor app is fantastic to advertise free stuff for neighbors to come collect, even from a few towns away.
But yes, this is a problem I have. If it is alive, I can find a spot for it somewhere. Of-course, when you break up a hosta clump into 20 bits that can be a challenge sometimes.
I guess perhaps I was brought up to be frugal, and always finish my plate before leaving the table. The idea of wasting something is abhorrent now it has been drummed into me. I guess I need deprogramming, too. *Blush*
Gardening: So exciting I wet my plants!
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May 20, 2021 3:10 PM CST
Name: Tina McGuire
KY (Zone 6b)
Wow. I have on occasion lamented my husbands total lack of interest in the garden. I'm over it. He did fall in love with one daylily a few years back. It was "Commands Attention" which is a glorious daylily, but I'm into spider/ufo mode, so the charm wore off for me. It developed into a HUGE plant. After I explained that I wanted to create a special bed just for "his" daylily, that he would need to weed and care for, he was fine with me digging it and gifting it to my Mom. They both love the big fluffy ones. But he doesn't love any of them enough to take responsibility for their care. So he has absolutely no say in what I grow. Sounds mean, but it isn't. If you are the one doing the work, it's your call, not his.
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May 20, 2021 10:08 PM CST
Name: Zoia Bologovsky
Stoneham MA (Zone 6a)
Bee Lover Birds Butterflies Cat Lover Daylilies Region: Massachusetts
Enjoys or suffers cold winters
I can't get rid of anything. Except lily of the valley, vinca and Ditch Lily, all of which I cheerfully pitch into the woods.
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May 21, 2021 7:57 AM CST
Name: Cassandra
Bryan, Tx (Zone 8b)
I have that problem... I can't even imagine getting rid of any of mine but then again, I have the space to spare.
Maybe you could look into seeing if there's a community or church garden near you and suggest donating them so other people can enjoy them just as much as he does?
Just a thought Smiling
~C
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May 21, 2021 9:18 PM CST
Name: Zoia Bologovsky
Stoneham MA (Zone 6a)
Bee Lover Birds Butterflies Cat Lover Daylilies Region: Massachusetts
Enjoys or suffers cold winters
Hi Cassandra! Welcome! Thats what I did last year I had so much Wabash iris last year that after I replanted some of it in other locations, I gave a bunch to a friend who donated them to her church that was redoing their gardens. Here's a photo of one that opened today... I still have plenty!
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May 22, 2021 4:59 AM CST
Name: Gary
Pennsylvania (Zone 6a)
I have the same problem with all my perennial plants. But then talking to friends and family members I found out they had an interest in gardening and starting giving plants to them. It was greatly satisfying seeing them enjoy the plants I have spent years tending. Not that my garden isn't still full but it also gives me a spot to try a new species or variety.
Avatar for vermontgardener
May 22, 2021 8:50 AM CST
Vermont
I'm with plasko20. Guerrilla Gardening is the way to go. You still get to enjoy your babies while beautifying places in town that need it.
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May 22, 2021 10:39 AM CST
Name: Lilli
Lundby, Denmark, EU
Irises Roses Bulbs Hellebores Foliage Fan Cottage Gardener
Plant Lover: Loves 'em all! Seed Starter Winter Sowing Bee Lover Dog Lover Region: Europe
Maybe try to think of it this way: Giving away (divisions of) plants you love to friends, family and neighbours means you have back-ups if something horrendous befalls your beloved plants - like someone nearby not being careful when they spray weedkiller (we lost a new hedge that way) or some natural disaster.
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice!
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May 22, 2021 12:05 PM CST
Name: Gary
Pennsylvania (Zone 6a)
I agree
Avatar for jenneffmm04
May 22, 2021 12:09 PM CST

Oh my gosh! I am astonished there are so many daylilies that I can obtain. I love this website! I shall return.

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