My desk plant has all kinds of little brown orbs all over it. What are they, and how can I get rid of them? Thanks!

A very bad infestation of scale insects! Use rubbing alcohol to remove. The leaves will not recover their color.
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I suggest you prune off all of the frond stems. Spray the remaining bulb. If the roots are healthy new pest free fronds should emerge although it may take a while.

I gave up trying to grow this plant because it is an incredible scale magnet! Now matter what I did, I could not get it under control.
I finally gave up.
These cycads do not tolerate being sprayed at all! That does more damage then the brown armored scale.

If it were just a few, I would say treat it, but that is a horrible infestation, and it may have already done too much damage to save the plant.

You can try to leave it outside for a while in warm weather if you are able to do that. Sometimes birds, other insects and predators will eat away the scale.

Interesting idea! At this point you really don't have much to lose.

WillC said:I suggest you prune off all of the frond stems. Spray the remaining bulb. If the roots are healthy new pest free fronds should emerge although it may take a while.

I second this. Prune it, clean and spray the bulb and see what happens