Some of you have seen my posts in the Grumpy thread about having trouble committing to a long distance move (Ontario to California).

Long story short, my fiance lives there and the plan was originally for me to move there. He doesn't want to move here. So I'm torn between staying home and going there. Why is this so difficult for me? Cause I'm very attached to home and part of my family. So this became a harder decision than I imagined it would. In all honesty... I feel terrible that I haven't been able to commit to this... I can never thank him enough for his patience with me.

Anyways... it got me wondering if anyone here has done a long distance move? How'd you get yourself confident enough to do it? Did you regret it at any point? Anything else to share?

I spent 35 years driving an 18 wheeler across 48 states and some of Canada. Where in California? as there is a great deal of difference between the south and the north parts of the state. California has taken care of my dad (he is 92, 93?) Research the state, research what benefits it can give you, would you be immigrating? Home becomes yours when you make it so, and friends are just emails and video chats away, while you need time to settle into a commitment that is one on one and personal. You should be old enough to know that relationships are about what you each contribute, emotional and financial and medical. The move would be exhausting if you spend too much time stressing about it, but we ALL carry so much baggage we do not need to (mementos, personal stuff) sometimes it is better to trim it down.
That said, I personally do not like California, I wouldn't wish to stay permanently, home is Texas to me. Anywhere in the state is fine, or dealable with, and that is a great deal of range. I wish you happiness in your decision.

My husband and I have moved 15 times in our 59 year marriage, each move was a new adventure we took on together. We often had to leave family and friends but we enjoyed our life together. These days our loved ones are only a facetime or skype or zoom away.

Kat, I'd be moving to the Bay Area. My fiance lives on the east side of the Bay. We'd likely be staying around there because he has a good, stable job.

Wow, Alice. 15 times. You've really moved around!

Bay area is really nice, you would adore it there. I will warn you, those folks there think a mist is a hard rain.

kittriana said: Bay area is really nice, you would adore it there. I will warn you, those folks there think a mist is a hard rain.

I've noticed that actually. I find it humorous when they think there's a big storm and it's a light, barely rain. Meanwhile where I live, storms causing major floods and taking down trees and power lines are a normal part of our storms.
I'll hear about flooding in the Bay and it'll be small puddles on the road. To me, that's... well... puddles.

I have done several long distance moves.
From the Philippines to Winnipeg,MB;
From Manitoba to Los Angeles, CA; From Los Angeles, CA to Northern CA then to San Joaquin County, CA

Any move to a new area is always challenging, but it also opens up many windows of opportunity to mature some more and learn a lot. Our initial move from my homeland to Canada was the toughest one we did, my first time to be totally far away from friends and family, but my husband is with me, and that is all I need. Both of us have no relatives in Canada then, all my relatives are in the US. It was indeed a huge learning curve for us in all aspects, but I was glad Winnipeg is one of the cities with a huge Filipino population too, so in time we made new friends, adjusted to the many differences in culture and lifestyle.
Then the next major adjustment was the move to the US. Such an eye opener indeed! But it was not too tough, just got to get used to some culture shocks. And having some relatives who we can finally meet again after being apart for so many years allowed us to rekindle family ties. And again meeting new friends along the way, new hobbies, new places to explore.
Living abroad widens ones perspective a lot.
Just keep your passports always valid, so anytime you can head back to visit your old home.
And these days, there are so many social media platforms you can use to keep in touch with family and friends.
Did we regret our move? Not at all. Before any move we did, we made sure we research heavily about the next place. At least nowadays, there is a lot of help via the internet. Even browsing Youtube videos shows a lot of tutorials and vlogs, so you will know so much about the place.

I think we ably endured our moves because my husband and I remain committed to be together, going on 28 years now...with all the ups and downs of life and all the curve ball it throws at us.

One thing that gets me is how heavily Spanish the Bay Area is. I feel like it might be easier if I knew some Spanish.

The hardest part is the culture change and the fact I'm so close to my mum. I've always been close to mum, so suddenly being so far away and not being able to do our usual hiking and kayaking excursions makes me sad... I try to tell myself we have video chats. But that's still not the same. I worry about visits between work and how expensive flights are getting too.

Me and K are going on 10 years in January, so it'd be nice to finally be together. That entire 10 years has been long distance.

Wow... 10 years. Just realizing now how long that really is. Long time to go long distance.

Hey TK? they know more English than you will believe, don't worry about the speaking! You would cause them laughs.
So have you ever vacationed in Bay area for a week or two already?

I didn't mean to suggest they didn't speak English. I was just pointing out how common Spanish is.

Yes, I've been there many times. The shortest visit was 2 weeks. Longest was 1.5 months. I was supposed to do a 3 month visit once but it was during a difficult time for me and I opted to come home halfway through.
I'd like to do a 3 month again, but that's difficult with jobs... I used to work seasonally so I had more flexibility then.

Hoping to go back in March for a week. K got us concert tickets for then in hopes I could make it.