LoL, there are so many great things to respond to that you are saying in this thread and I don't have time to comment on much of anything yet...
I'll say really quickly, though, that growing your lettuce to the east of tall plants will help provide shade from the hot afternoon sun. If you don't have trees, try to atleast do this. (I'm also into companion planting, so knowing what you should/shouldn't plant lettuce next to can be important...for a larger guide to companion planting that most places have, check out Wikipedia's chart:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... )
