>> When I had them growing somewhere else in the yard they came back for years, but rotted in the new location. Now they get lifted.
Lavender is supposed to be sensitive to wet feet, at least over the winter. Two plants side-by-side, getting the exact same weather, will live through the winter or not depending on how well-drained their soil is.
(I assume that is more relevant when the winter cycles around freezing much of the time. I can't imagine roots caring about drainage if they are frozen rock-hard early in Winter and stay that way until Spring!)
I really delights me that plants (and weather, and soil) are so complex that even experienced people have to "try it and see", or experiment. Horticulture MAY be a science if you know enough about some plant varieties in certain regions, but it sure seems to be an art!