Thanks for the help, guys! I will buy some diatomaceous earth as soon as payday hits. I got even more confused this evening as I got home and started watering my plants. I got frustrated with my spider plant and started digging up the soil and found SO MANY of those little bugs and also dozens of small matte black beetles that I think are death feigning beetles. Odd. I also found a gigantic caterpillar which definitely helped the situation.... Haha. I checked the roots and they are healthy and intact so I just took off the (very few) leaves and will try again when it starts growing back.
