It was in fact an armyworm! I tossed it away into the bushes, as I'm on the second floor and my plants on the balcony, and I found it back again on my squash!! What a jerk. Yeah, I'll have to replace all the soil... I found some teeny tiny bugs in there that I thought were sprint tails, but they are larger than that and had these little tufts on their back end. There are hundreds of them.... along with those death feigning beetles... it is obnoxious. Ah well. Thank you all so much for the help!!!
