I'm having fun reading this. And I thought I was the only one.
Here's a list of my disorders:
Let's see...I name my plants and call them by name when I'm outside. Quietly of course now ever since my one neighbor caught me and bust a gut laughing.
I say, "Mommy luuuuvs you" and "You're a good planty-plant." I say the exact same thing to the dog--except I say 'dog-dog' instead of planty-plant.
I tell them to play nice and scold them when they give me 'cacti kisses'. Hey...when it comes to cacti love hurts!
Whenever I buy a new plant, on the ride home I tell it, it will have a wonderful new home so much nicer than where it came from with all kinds of new friends to play with. When I get home I'll walk around the yard with it and 'ask' where it wants to 'live'. If I get a good 'vibe' I'll put it in that spot (sun conditions appropriate of course).
I dance around and clap when one grows, blooms or otherwise surprises me.
I instruct----yes instruct, my husband to make 'friends' with the plants. I tell him if he does they'll be nice to him. He thinks they all have a conspiracy against him.
No. You have to understand this. My husband is amazing in that he is the only human I know that can literally stand 3 feet away from a cacti, agave or aloe and still mange to get stuck or pinched by them. It is really perverse in a way as he thinks I literally put them up to it!
I apologize to them, when I accidentally step on or trip over them (I have some tiny ones), or when I inadvertently break a leaf (aloes and agaves). I am depressed for a day or two when I kill one.
And if that isn't bad enough.........I am an artist. And you guessed it. I paint plants (not exclusively but one of my favorite subjects as I live in the desert S.W.). My avatar is a painting I did of one of my children from years ago.
