I will stick with levity tonight.
May I give you, "The Iris Before Christmas", and pardon me for leaving out a stanza but the original does go on a bit....
'Twas several nights before Christmas, and all through the house
My kittens were throwing a little stuffed mouse;
The pots were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Goddess Iris soon would be there;
The seedlings were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions of Dykes winners danced in my head;
And me in my pajamas with a nightcap,
Had just settled down, AIS Irises laying in my lap,
When out in the garden there arose such a clatter,
I spilled my drink running to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Hoping it wasn't diggers stealing iris for cash.
The corner streetlight would surely show
Damage being inflicted to the gardens below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature rainbow, and eight rhizomes dear,
With a wee fairy driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Iris schtick.
More rapid than gophers the rhizomes they came,
Wee Fairy whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, LANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on LUCID! on, THORNBIRD and BLITZEN!
To the top of the mounds on the top of the wall!
Now plant yourself! plant yourself! plant yourself all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the ground
The faint little stretching of growing root sound.
As I retrieved my drink glass, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Wee Fairy came with a bound.
She was dressed all in standards, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all spotted with pollen and soot;
A bundle of iris she flung me for no reason,
And she looked like a vendor just opening for the season.
Her eyes -- how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her diamond dusted wings, how like a fairy!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And she presented an iris as white as the snow;
The stumpy rhizomes she held tight in hand underneath,
And the roots they encircled her hand like a wreath;
She had ones with new starts and one had a little round belly,
When they were shook, it was like a bowlful of jelly.
She was chubby and plump, don't call her an elf,
And I was impressed when I saw her, in spite of myself;
A wink of her eye and thrown fairy dust at my head,
Soon put me in a spell so I had nothing to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And filled all the pots, giving the leaves a little jerk,
Then laying down her trowel and giving a pose,
And waving her wand, up the chimney she rose;
She sprang on the rainbow, to the rhizomes gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, ere she flew out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL, AND Y'ALL BETTER PLANT RIGHT!
