I have enjoyed reading about this topic very much. Lovely pictures, Doris.
For many years I have believed that there are two basic kinds of gardeners, those who garden in and those who garden out. People who garden out love to open their gardens and enjoy it. As several have said, what is the point of doing all that work except for others to see and appreciate? I have heard many variations on this over the years. Those who garden in have the exact opposite view. There isn't that same need and desire for public appreciation, whatever its form.
People who garden out might care very much, for example, how their garden looks from the street. Those who garden in probably don't consider that. It doesn't occur to them.
I am in the latter category and am with all those who would stress unbelievably over having visitors. I never mind close friends in my garden as they see it with 'friend eyes'. My garden renews me and inspires me. It is my retreat and my refuge. If it had to meet some standard (imaginary or not) of others, it would not be the same. I would give it up.
I once had a garden group over that I used to volunteer with. The group took turns opening their gardens (this was pleasurable for most) and I, wanting to do my part, put mine on the schedule. It was the worst gardening summer of my life! Until the day after the group had come and gone, I could not enjoy my garden. I fretted constantly that I would not get enough done. (I didn't...lol) The day after the group came was the best gardening day of the summer. I could relax.
It's kind of like how some people enjoy entertaining and others do not. Extrovert/introvert, I suppose. Interesting, the horticulturist (at that time) that headed our volunteer group was also a 'gardening in' type. Her personal garden was never opened to the group. However, she took us on some incredible tours, opened doors to nurseries and situations we would never have known of but for her connections. A very special gal...and (laughing) I totally understood...her personal garden was just that, personal.
I have gone on a fair amount of tours and always always appreciate all the work that I know goes into those gardens. I'm also happy to explore gardens on my own (public gardens) while I would guess others would prefer to do so with a group.
There's no right or wrong. Sometimes, people have to try it (opening their garden) to decide where they fall (garden in/garden out). I also think that sometimes folks on either side have difficulty understanding the other. :)
I, too, have a puppy that is busily destroying my garden in my backyard (all my seedlings!). However, it's made me re-think things and face the reality that I have more than I can handle, garden-wise. So, I'm gradually turning the backyard over to him, the puppy. My husband was like, "After all your work!"...but, it was and is still a great deal of work...and, I know I will be adding another dog eventually, so it's all for the best. I still have the front yard and that's plenty.
We go through different stages in our gardening life. I would just say that you are wise to recognize where you are right now, in terms of declining the invitation. Things work out. As you said, down the road may present a better time.
One thing I thought of with what Fred said, about many people wanting to buy in the garden. My experience has usually been that during tours there is no selling. So, even when a garden gave out a sales list on one particular tour, I took it and thought about what I might get after the tour. Imagine my shock to find at lunch that the next bus had bought and had daylilies dug during their time in the garden! This from a smaller hybridizer's garden with very limited availability (so, read that as things were now already gone...). Whatever. You never know...
Happy gardening! I am starting to find scapes daily which is so shocking. Don't know what to think about it, except to enjoy it. Off to try to rescue a few more things from the backyard...
