I hear you and understand you.
Maybe you should try Japanese beetle traps? They work, just be sure to empty them frequently and put them in the most rotten part of the garden so not to have collateral damage. Maybe near a troublesome neighbor's garden...
My chief problem is the same as that from the main character of 'The $64 Tomato': I need to plan all my absences well in advance and in some months I cannot even spend a single night away. Otherwise my "helpers" will make a complete mess of things and I'll find myself with a crushing workload upon my return: some folks just don't seem to understand the meaning of "Don't touch that!" and "This one needs to be watered every other day". I spend most if not all my spare time watering, pruning, fertilizing etc and I am still rewarded with a ghastly looking garden. Rotten weather, bad soil and a previous owner who planted stuff with no thought given about maintenance will do that. I am cutting down a digging up stuff like a maniac and, to be honest, I kinda like that little venegance.
