Johannian said: 
Alex, hilarious!
You could try Lophophora williamsii and Opuntia basilaris next. I'd like to see the results for Beavertail Cactus (the latter). Goodness knows what Google will be saying about beavers. 
I translated some of the Lophophora williamsii Wikipedia Page. Apparently Google Translate thinks that it is Aloe Vera?
"The aloe vera grows slowly and the pattern grows rapidly. It may take up to three years to become an adult. Rapid growth can be achieved with the growth of catechins in the old camp of San Pedro. On the ground is a crown of cactus. They are cut at the top of their roots and sometimes dried. If they are well covered, they will withstand very bad conditions. All the trees are dead. Today, aloe vera grows naturally in South Texas. However, due to the abundance of resources, the government has compiled a list of endangered species."
