Humboldt said: Tiffany beat me to it.
Heft it a few times before you water, get accustomed to the weight.
Water evenly, give it time to moisten the soil. Doesn't matter if it runs out the bottom or not.
Wait a few minutes, longer the better, and water again, slowly.
It should take longer for the water to drain through which means it's soaking into the soil instead of just draining right out. As mentioned though, if the soil is super dry it will take a while before it breaks through the surface and drains.
Let it drain and heft it again. If it feel substantially heavier you're good.
If not, hit it again and let it drain well.
A well-watered plant is a happy plant, so I agree you were killing yours with love by trying to avoid over-watering.
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