I've seen shoes intended to aerate lawns, like golf shoes with very long spikes. Or maybe that ad was a joke. Shoes like that would be very hard to run in!
The 'dachshund self' should have some fore-claws shaped like a screwdriver or Vee-tipped screwdriver, for weeding. And maybe one claw shaped like a cobra-had weeder.
Actually, it would be handy to have the whole raised bed on a small elevator. Push a button and have it raise up until the soil is around waist-level. Then I could sit in an easy chair and weed.
Not very much like the muttering customer at a nursery, who heard some other customer ask about how she SHOULD be weeding.
"On your KNEES! Like God intended."
