I would be more than happy to discuss various areas of your draft.
I do not use my full name on public insecure forums (such as this one). I used to, but I stopped doing that about six years ago when I found that the amount of detailed personal information freely accessible on the internet seemed dangerous. (The particular incident that made this obvious to me was that only knowing a person's maiden name from the 1970s I was able to find her current address, where she worked, where her mother lived, where her children went to school, a detailed floor plan of her house, etc.) This person had no web-site, belonged to know obvious internet groups, had no apparent public internet persona, etc.
You can 'identify' me in more detail by checking any of the articles in the Daylily Journal.
The discussion can be in this thread or offline - whichever you prefer. Lets start with the parentage of Hyperion, etc. (page 14, page 16, page 341 and following).
