Kim, it doesn't sound like you are "the problem".
Some neighborhood issues are really just differences of opinion or style even if they are escalated to "Death to infidels!" passion.
But some people WANT trouble and have learned not only how to create it, but often how to make other people feel guilty for THEIR pettiness and, frankly, pointless cruelty.
Don't let her make you feel in the wrong!
I saw a couple with a husband whose goat was easy to get (he meant well despite his provokable persona) and a sneaky wife who wanted to always APPEAR as the Good Girl and the Martyred Wife. She would needle him and poke him in his sorest spots (in ways she could GET AWAY WITH) until he got mad enough to shout, then she wallowed in how bad she could make him look to everyone around them. She rubbed his nose in what a Bad Guy he was until everyone around them wished they were elsewhere.
The idea that your neighbor created a problem and then found ways to make YOU feel bad reminded me of that day.
