I am sorry about your mother. It is never easy to lose a family member at all, let alone a parent. I have multiple memory beds around the yard. In some, the plants are the memory and some are the shape of the bed and some are the tchotchkes that are the reminders. Maybe you could try something like that when you feel more comfortable with gardening? Containers are a good way to start, too. The natural configuration of this section of yard looked like a baseball diamond. Since my mother loved baseball, I structured it accordingly. First image is from 2008 a couple of years after I set up the bed. Second image is from April of this year. Nearly everything you see in the 2008 picture has been moved, given away, or faded away. New opportunities to experiment, right?
Thank you for the compliment.
I knew absolutely nothing about gardening when I got my house in 2004. But I remember(ed) the Irises and Peonies and Lily of the Valleys that my grandmother and her mother grew in their yards and, as I deeply loved both women, I wanted to have a part of them here. Over the years, especially at first, I have let literally hundreds of plants die because of ignorance. No joke! I haunted the Lowes clearance racks, took advantage of sales, joined a (short-lived) plant co-op, and was gifted with plant starts from friends. Made the losses more bearable.
Now, 18 years later I still have losses from ill planning or outright neglect, but I have learned so much from those losses and from the folks on this site and treasure my successes. They are generous with advice and will help you, too. I think my friend Linda's thread recommendation is a good place to start.
Last month, nearly half of the canopy of my 100-year-old Cedar Elm fell on my house (lightning) reducing the shade on the left side by several hours. First image is from a couple of years back. Most everything in that side yard was dug and given away or potted for later planting somewhere else. A local garden friend brought her entire family over to take care of it for me.
Second image is after they cleared it out. Over the next few months, I will be exploring options to plant over there that might adapt to the new conditions, that I like, AND those for which I am willing to pay out the investment.
Which means....a new adventure awaits!
I wish you good luck with your explorations. And keep in mind that...grass is overrated!! π»π»π»
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Kind of surreal. 
