I was riding into town Monday and thinking that I had lost everything. Then I felt love, and that made me think that Steve still loved me and I still love him and that doesn't go away. So I haven't lost everything - a lot - but not all and we will be reunited some day. And - he doesn't have to hurt anymore. I sat with him after he died, held his hand and made the phone calls that had to be done. Looking at him, he looked 10 years younger, just not in all that pain. How could I begrudge him leaving a bit early? He stayed with me a long time and we were together 48 1/2 years. I'd have kept him another 48 1/2 yrs but it wasn't in the cards.

On the plus side, I've been setting up the garden outside my camper's front door: hostas, Bill's caladiums that made it through the winter (Thanks Bill!), lilies, ferns, dwarf mondo Ngrass. Give that a few weeks and it will be gorgeous. I got my first daylily order (arrived today) from Dan Hansen at Ladybug Daylilies. Those will be planted Friday, tomorrow is jam packed: morning doing laundry, appointment with financial advisor, purchase a big bale of hay for the horses - I have 7 or 8 bales here but my tractor isn't working so I can't move one down to the pasture, feed the critters, and head back to Tallahassee to see Willie Nelson in concert! So Friday, I plant and Saturday, my great auto mechanic, AJ, is coming over to take the fuel injector pump off my tractor and take it a diesel mechanic he knows in an effort to get my Big Blue up and running. Need to move hay, repair my roads, and mow grass! Crazy on the first week of March. I'm also planning on rototilling another lane for my daylilies that are coming in the spring (Thanks Mary T and Cassie). I've got 4 hummingbird feeders up and the same for the songbirds. Surrounding myself with beauty. I think Steve would approve. Thanks for all your support my friends!

I think Steve would absolutely approve of you bein you. That's what he loved. The "fullness" (best word?) of your time with Steve- love that lasted a lifetime? That's a dream come true : )

I'm on a long-term sub, teaching freshmen Algebra, and during all of spring break, I am looking forward to accomplishing somewhere north of half what you've done in a day... You are awesome, Mrs. Barb!

Diana has said it so well. You are not alone in this world Barb. Apart from the birds and the flowers, we are cheering u on, and glad that u keep going so well.

to you Barb. Keep on keeping on and remember that your Guardian Angel is always beside you.

Barb, I certainly hope they get your tractor fixed soon. You look so happy riding that tractor, it will be your best friend when it comes to getting big jobs done now.

I agree with you, Barb, that Steve would approve. You are making your world a more beautiful place. to you, Barb.

Barb after forty eight plus years you have a lot to be thankful for. He's definitely your inspiration. From what you have told us from FIRST hand experience. He inspires us men also. We are never too old to learn.

Your words give comfort and support. It's nice to have a rooting section. If any of you travel to Florida, let me know and I can put you up either on my couch or in the other camper on the property. Feel free to spend a night on your way to wherever you are going. I'd be happy to have you and to meet you good people!

Barb

Barb on behalf of all of us thanks for the wonderful invitation.

I'm assuming Sage's picture is your avatar? Pretty baby.

Barb, yeah : )
Sage is my almost four month old grandson. Gonna go see him and his mommy tomorrow!

Time sure does fly Barb. My mother passed in 2005 and it just seems like yesterday. I lost my pal cat of l9 years 2 years ago March 3 and that also just seems like yesterday. We never will forget them.

Cindy,
Being a proud member of a multispecies family, I surely do understand not only the loss of your mother but also your kitty - 19 yrs is a very old cat, how lucky you had him/her for so long. You are right - we will never forget.
Barb