I can see poetry is a wonderful means of expression for you.
I am a Haiku girl myself ( not very good either )
When my brother recently passed, I wrote this for him. He always told me to do more than Haiku and so I did!
This was after several months of painful grieving -- I was feeling somewhat eased
Grief has loosened its grip
It no longer swamps
It no longer chokes
It no longer carves salt channels into my face
Instead it creeps and holds me fast -- but gently
under the waves
It allows me to breathe through a narrow crevice
It gently sands and refines its path downward ....
Is this progress?
– Dot, Feb 13, 2016