I think that, if Velveeta was cheese, it'd be like Mr. Lincoln. Readily available everywhere (grocery stores, big boxes, all online suppliers, good & bad), beautiful rose (Velveeta "looks" like what we think cheese should look like), great smell (Velveeta has that great "cheesy" smell), lasts long time (As does Velveeta, refrigerated or not), not too thorny (Velveeta is easy to cut, easy to cook with, easy to eat, easy on the digestive track), grows easily (Well, Velveeta doesn't grow too easily, but it's not hard to make), lives in almost any environment (much like Velveeta).
