@gardenglory

gardenglory said:I just lost my MIL this week. I already feel the same as Anna, and it hasnt been a week. She accepted me at any weight, was always accepting of what we were doing. She loved to garden, she taught me so much. I already feel I see my MIL everywhere in my garden, I know she will be close. I can tell you treasure that with your Mom, and altho sorry for your loss, at least you have a lifetime of wonderful memories it seems.

Pam ...

I hope you don't mind if I moved your post from the GRUMPY thread over here to the SAD thread to offer you my condolences. A loss like this is so much more than something to feel grumpy about. It impacts your life in a much bigger way.

I am so glad you had someone like your MIL as a part of your life and can only imagine your sorrow that she is no longer with you in your garden and how much you must miss her.

Pam, I am very sorry for your loss.

Thanks, it was actually the post before that I was grumpy about. As for my MIL passing, she was one wonderful soul, never judged me or anyone. I know where she is, and who she is with, and that warms my heart.
Best of all, she is now of full mind !!

My sincerest condolences Pam. It is so nice to hear of a really caring MIL-DIL relationship.

My deepest sympathies Pam for you and your family

So sorry, Pam @Gardenglory

You are all very kind. Thank you.

@gardenglory - so sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences

Sad...grumpy....sad....grumpy....
Guess sad wins

I know not to speak about politics and world events ..and both may be the impetus for this... But NOT what it is about...

But it saddens me ...some family and good ( good ) friends have said some things that have hortified me.

I do not think I can get their hateful hurtful words about their fellow man out of my head. I should have enough years under my belt to look at the good and wonderful in them...but wow oh wow...where have they been hiding these beliefs....

Sorry to read that Rosie, words can really be mean and are hard to forget once said

Yes. We are on (just learning ) opposite ends of the earth in our thinking.

That doesn't make me right..but if I am wrong..so be it. Hateful talk. Hardened hearts. Don't ask me why...nobody has had a particularly hard life. Should not be bitter. They develop their beliefs and positions from social media and soundbites and not commonsense and / or experiences

Very sad.

I know a young woman of 30'ish who cannot let go of her teen years. Won't release, and will keep on about her "hard life" which really, given that this is Canada and so many agencies to help even 15 years ago, wasn't that tough. She just can't let go, and it's nasty to hear her go on and on and on about it, with no let up for the poor audience. She's lost a lot of "audience" because of it and cannot see that she's hurting herself.
So, to sum up, Rosie - there are a lot of people out there that say hurtful things. They can't seem to help it. Or they feel the only way to get past their own hurt is to relive it...... so sad.

Well, I may not agree with them but maybe IF they were spewing hate and prejudice based on their life or an experience I could feel some empathy.

Rosie - a lot of it was brought on by her life choices - people in the family tried to help, but she wanted to be a drama queen then, and she's being one now. She wasn't physically abused or anything like that. She "solved" a lot of her distress by taking drugs and is still taking them. Again, so sad.......

That is sad. I have had family members whose lives ruined by substances of one sort or another. If what I heard during one of the convention is correct .... Some of our towns and cities are riddled with drug use - young and old. We are not equipped to deal with an epidemic in this country because the resources are too fractured...disparate..no coordination.

Drug abuse is bad here, city and suburbs...doesn't matter whether affluent or poor, it has touched many young and older. I know one too many that didn't make it out alive

So sad and the adults that have to support, take up the slack, carry the load for the young in the family are not being built stronger, better, more resilient and long- lived.

You know not to get too deep...but we humans depend on time, exposure to changes, and evolution to make us more competent / successful organisms. There is nothing about mental burden and worry ( I do not THINK anyway) that will affect that change... It isn't like growing or losing hair or shortening or lengthening limbs to make survival/ adaptability more successful.

An uneducated guess is that the body will gain less longevity not more and the young that it needs to care for will be left unattended... I just don't think 60 is the new 30

The caregivers in the middle, looking after the elderly and the young, are getting more stressed, not less. The elderly need our care. The young should not. Unfortunately they've grown to expect our care and refuse to do without it. The elderly have looked after themselves for long that some refuse to accept it and so caregivers are the "in the middle" ones who are sometimes feeling unwanted from both sides, when they have made it clear by "being there" for young & old that they need to be needed. Ah yes - there are some families that have given "wings" to the young to fly when they should, and pulled back from the elderly to give them their own space, but it's a real mix out there.
God Bless each of the "sides" with what they need.

60 is definitely NOT the new 30! And never will be! My parents have long been gone and my DD has been on her own for a long time, but my husband needs constant care. At 69, I feel the time coming when I won't be able to handle everything. Everything takes its toll. I get so tired, and there's so many things I don't know how to do, that DH used to handle...yet we can't always afford to pay for help. People live longer, but that inevitably creates more problems for society. Yet even for those who are in great pain and terminal toward the end, the Dr. Kevorkian way is against the law in most states.

I hear you.
I think about it all the time