Yes, without a POA or some kind of court ruling on competency, it's pretty hard to force a senior to do something that they refuse to do!

She was a tornado and confusion only made her dig in harder..that social worker should have understood that. I told her if she was so set on my mom being a danger to herself ( she suggested NOT to do something constituted elder abuse) then, I thought she had a responsibility by law as a social worker doing the eval and making the determination...to do what was necessary to " protect " my mother........have at it. Put her in front of a judge... She said "but your mother sounds very lucid..she is deceiving".

H E L L O......WELCOME TO OUR WORLD!

No truer words were ever said Linda and Rosie. This is the hell Im living right now. As an only child, it only makes it worse. One on one, and they can still pull the wool...its impossible.

Sounds like s lot of people are dealing with elderly parents. I have been dealing with my mother's care for 4 years since dementia took her. Quality of life is so low, she rarely speaks, just sits. And sometimes is full of anxiety. It seems like my mother has been gone for years and this shell remains. She took a turn for worse last week and yesterday I signed papers for hospice care. And I'm also working my butt off to get my youngest through college and saving for my own retirement. I'm 52, mom is 88. Siblings are very helpful and we divide up the tasks, we are spread out across the country. I see the ends coming and it feels like the last leg of four year marathon. And I miss my youngest daughter, my husband dropped her off at college yesterday. Just feel a little overwhelmed but off to work now. Thank goodness for my garden.

Judy, and all the care takers

Judy!

Judy....

Judy. It sounds like that's a huge bunch of stuff..bittersweet. And, it sounds like you got the right attitude. Helpful siblings and spouse helps. The important thing to remember is that YOU are not in the home stretch at 52 and so take a bit of time for yourself. The best thing I did was to get a financial advisor who helped me put some things in place and more importantly in perspective and helped me to understand that in my retirement although not worry free...I would not be sharing the turkey can with the dog.

They call us caregivers The Sandwich Generation. We not only care for our aging parents, some still have kids at home, and jobs.

Judy. It sounds like you have been a wonderful daughter . Your Mom is very fortunate to have you there during this bad time in her life.

Thanks so much everyone.

Judy
No one ever gets enough hugs for all the "Sandwich Generation" and other caregivers do

My heart breaks for all the poor little babies and children left in cars on summer days. The latest I've heard about was in Helotes, TX, not that far away...an employee of a store forgot to drop his baby off at daycare and went into work early this morning. At a little after 3 p.m. someone noticed the baby in the car and called police. Too late to help the baby, it was a hot sunny day, triple digit. People are absent-minded, I know. I'm ADD, have forgotten many things, not a child in a hot car thank goodness! My niece, a teacher and mother of two, uses one method of making sure...after putting children in the car, one of her shoes is placed back seat, also. Not many people would walk away from the car with only one shoe on. I don't even want to know how hot a closed car can get after a whole day that gets up to triple digit temps!
http://www.parents.com/parenti...

I hate hearing this...just can't imagine doing that...what a horrible thing for a parent to have to live with

Unintended result of requiring baby seats to be put in the back seats of cars. Yes, the intent was to save lives, but ....... omg ... the poor parents ... the heartbreak ...

Today I am sad, because a very dear (elderly) friend of mine passed away yesterday. Mary....
Her hubby Walter & she had been married for over 63 years. He's blind and she was his world. The house will have to be sold and he will have to go into a care home, of course. She was one of the elders of a church we used to belong to, and she always made sure that we were involved as much as we could be, in the life of Renfrew United, even though we were now going to Northminster United Church.

Poor guy. 63 years is something to celebrate for sure, but its got to make the lose all the much harder. Sounds like he has the support of the church, and that a blessing, lots of friends.

They also have 2 daughters, a son-in-law, several grandchildren, the Church, and a LOT of friends who would do Anything for them.
They all live in Calgary, so this is good.

Condolences for the loss of your friend, Susan.

@Moonhowl How are you doing with all the rain in LA? Hope you are not in the flood zone.