One of my distant cousins who I called Aunt even though she was older than a great aunt just passed away the other day. She was 99 and they were planning her 100th birthday party two weeks from now. She had a stroke suddenly and days later died. Up until the stroke she was able to walk, had full hearing and sight and no memory issues, she stopped driving at 90 I think! She had a good life though and saw more than most. She never wanted a funeral just a private ceremony only her daughter and adult grandkids are going to but she had great grandchildren oldest is 11 I think. This was her past September at bowling.

My condolences. What a long life! She has seen many many changes and advances in 99 years.

My condolences, Keith - what a vibrant, lively person she was! Bowling at 99 - yikes!!

I am very sorry for your loss Keith, sounds like she had a great life.

My sympathies for your loss Keith It sounds like your cousin had a full and wonderful life

My sympathies, but, it seems you have majorly wonderful memories

~M~

Condolences on your loss, Keith. What stories she must have had to tell of all the changes she saw over her lifespan.

Difficult time falling asleep. I finished settling my brother's estate this week. I can 'hear' him saying...."It's was just stuff...don't worry about it"

I kept the lures he made....I am going to make those into ornaments for the tree for all of us. And some clothing items.... those will become stuffed teddys. He lived in Florida and his good neighbor bought his house and a new baby will soon be bringing joy ( and life ) to the rooms. The family was so happy to get the ming trees and desert roses and that huge staghorn. I suspect a few tomatoes will pop up in the side yard too.

So....all in all I should be happy....I can hear him clear as day saying "get over it....it's just stuff... " " Go to sleep "

Sounds kinda stupid and funny (and this is not meant to be funny, just helpful, trying to get you to get some sleep), but apparently eating a boiled potato before bedtime helps you sleep when you can't get to sleep

Rosie. I had to deal with the estate of a very dear friend years ago and it was very difficult.

It's a stressful task .. and I wouldn't be able to sleep either .. but, I think your brother would be pleased, and, if he is, you should be as well

~M~

It is very hard.
Probably because of all that thinking and remembering last night..I had a dream and he was in it. Had a nice visit. Funny thing was there was some sort of war or danger coming and we ( me --and old coworker I had not thought of for years -- my sister, and...well others but I don'tknow who now...) had to leave everything behind.... everything ..... I clearly remember weeping about these pastel heels...looked like something my older sisters wore in the 60's.. (I don't own shoes like those and so not sure why I cried over those) and bowls...my favorite Vietri mixing bowls -- those I do own. I was beside myself and in the dream my brother said -- " Dottie, it is just stuff... give it to the church and people who need it will use it "

Dreams can be very strange ..but it was very good to "see and hear" him - regardless. Funny thing is -- in the dream someone said "dig a hole and put some things in it...when you come back it will be there." Strange

Tallulah_B said:Sounds kinda stupid and funny (and this is not meant to be funny, just helpful, trying to get you to get some sleep), but apparently eating a boiled potato before bedtime helps you sleep when you can't get to sleep

I had to chuckle... Had a vision of hubby trotting out of bedroom - in his boxers covered with hound dogs and wearing white socks creeping up whiter legs...... And spying me weeping at the stove peeling potatoes at 3 am!

Rosie hardest thing I've done was settling my dad's estate years ago...put off selling the house for quite some time then my sister and her daughter decided to buy it, a few years later they sold it and it broke my heart...it does get easier as I'm sure you know but right now just let the sadness be there...sound like you have wonderful memories with your brother, they will help for sure.

Your dream sounds like you not wanting to let go of things...you don't have too

Thanks. I know. I am trying. It isn't as bad as it reads..just in spurts.

well @missingrosie - I'm glad it made you laugh. they say "laughter is the best medicine" and I'm sure your "It's Just Stuff" brother would approve.

to all feeling the loss of loved ones...grief and the way we deal with it is a very personal thing and there are no rules.

My infant son, Jason, died 30 years ago March 2. After all this time there are still things that trigger tears...granted not as often, but still there. The anniversary slipped past me this year. My friend kaykay here on ATP is in the hospital. I have been helping out with her two girls, so my thoughts have been elsewhere. Went to see her yesterday and she mentioned that the St. George Island Charity Chili Cookoff had been mentioned on tv....she looked at me and asked what was wrong. After thanking her for the distraction, I explained the sad look on my face...30 years ago the cookoff was held March 2.

Ginger

@gingin
@MISSINGROSIE I, too, had to settle my brother's estate and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. He left us his house here in FL after asking me if we would care for it. He only lived in it 7 years and it was the only home he had owned. I just couldn't see strangers occupying it. Sometimes when I'm sweating in the garden and a cool breeze comes I think perhaps he is sending it to thank us for taking care of everything for him. Speaking of dreams, soon after he passed away I had one where my mother and aunt were sitting calmly on a bench in a beautiful garden and all they said was, "We're waiting for you." It somehow comforted me, especially they were in such a nice place!