If my brother did that I would tell him to go buy dinner at the local BBQ place.

This brother....he did a lot of naughty things that trip.

The trouble started when he spilled a dot...a speck..of iodine on the beige bedroom rug (brand new house..brand new rug...that house even smelled new that 1st Thanksgiving )

You see, he was "treating" Visa's paw.. He traveled with THREE daschunds. ..they followed him EVERYWHERE... He bought Visa..on credit.(.yup..his Visa card...) She was his favorite..the only female. Those dogs were not house trained...and they loved fluffy white freshly laundered towels...but that is a different story...same visit..

The bedrooms were all upstairs...the guest bedroom located next to mine... The hall flooring upstairs as well as the steps leading to the first floor foyer were hardwood. But we were on a budget - no hardwood throughout and so the bedrooms were carpeted. .ALL night.....ALL night..beginning 12::30- 1 am, I heard him leave that spare bedroom..cross the hall...go down the stairs...cross the foyer..go through the house and enter the garage...then began the clanking and the banging ...then footsteps and 12 tapping toenails back across the house ...cross the foyer..up the stairs...down the hall...into the bedroom.. over and over....him and those dogs..

12 little feet..and two big feet ...their nails tap..tap..tapping..scurrying after him as he walked..up and down...across and back. We were in bed... I did not get up to inquire. You had to know my brother..he did not sleep..the hyperactivity...plus he was a genius.. I figured he was rigging me up some kind of alarm system - a housewarming gift... (he invented a motion light sensor alarm for Bendix years ago...before those were household items) anyway...he also drank at night..alot.....to sleep....the hyperactivity drove him nuts. He could not be still....no drugs....booze... I didn't get up...and I told my husband to stay put.. Tap...tap..tap.. Clang..bang..tap..tap..tap.. 12 little and two big feet...

Next morning....he is at the dining table as was his habit..sitting quietly with a book. My husband got there first. My brother asked after me. My husband called me downstairs and I could see my brother was uncomfortable. Even those three fiends at his feet were subdued. (probably exhausted from climbing stairs all night long) It seems he had to tell me something (I honestly had forgotten about all the noise the night before..I was thinking about that Thanksgiving dinner I had to fix) ..he wanted to show me something in the spare bedroom....

We six climbed those stairs together...there in the middle of my new beige rug..was a HUGE daisy- shaped throw rug! I blinked ...and yup..it was a daisy....dead center. Its petals seemed to disappear under the bed. It looked like a throw rug on top of the carpetng but there was no rug! Just the design... Huh???

It seems when he got that wee speck of iodine on the carpeting..he went to the garage to find a cleaning solution. Finding none..he made his own...with various chemicals.... He bleached that spot right out! ...and the more he tried to fix / blend it..the bigger it got...the bigger it got ....the more he drank and the more he hit that garage for a new fix...... At some point he decided to bleach the entire rug one color......and at some other point ...exhausted ..he must have pooped out!

I loved my brother. He passed away last year..What I would give to have him come wreck my house today... I have a different house and no rugs...but I got sofas and plenty he could improve upon.

Mercy, mercy, Rosie! You have the patience of a saint!

Nah..it was something I grew into! Now It is a funny memory. One of many.

Funny funny stories!

Very enjoyable.

MISSINGROSIE said:I did that ...bought little tiny one-serving cheesecakes sitting in cupcake paper wrappers.....and just remained silent when all the "bakers" at the family pot luck raved.....I am not a dessert/ cake/pie/cookie girl.... They KNOW that.....

Then the fiends wanted the recipe!

@MISSINGROSIE You could always say that it was a secret family recipe and you couldn't share it.

And remember, even Julia Child dropped the turkey on the floor once. That is why I like to be ALONE in the kitchen, especially on special occasions

OK my ooops....I was young and dumb when I got married the first time. After 5 years we had our first kid. Since she was getting "mommy bottles" I couldn't go back on the pill....so dh, SIL and I went to the drug store for the foam. Well not being much smarter, in all serious innocence, I proceeded to ask the pharmacist how long the container would last...

Ginger, I just gotta ask how the pharmacist responded!!?? That's a classic moment in retrospect~!!

PlasticinePorter! You'll find a lot of fun folk around here!

Barbalee.....All I got from everyone was the REALLY look and a snicker...and the lightbulb went off

Hey, guys? What were you doing staring at her SHOES??

C'mon, c'mon, the dirty fingernails and calluses are up HERE, guys!

Barbalee..........."Holy Roller" . OMG! That's hysterical. Good thing he didn't ask for the British Hot Crossed Buns. I would have had to tell him, "I haven't backed into the oven yet."

gingin........

Another 'moment' of mine from my L.A. single days. Always getting dressed and undressed in a hurry due to my busy work and nights out. When you're in your 20s you can multi task---right?

Had a 'habit' of taking my bra off and hanging it on the inside door knob of the bathroom. Also had the equally bad habit of leaving last nights panties on the bathroom floor.
I usually threw everything in the laundry basket the next morning when I got up.

Running late one morning so I forgot about yesterday's red panties on the floor but put the matching bra back on.

In your 20s you also care what your 'lingerie' looks like. You wear lingerie...like bras and panties that match and that has lace and pretty designs on it. You like colors like red and pink, and blue, etc.

Decided to wear a red blouse that day to work (hence the red bra going back on) and a black skirt to work that the only appropriate under garment with this skirt was a pair of granny panties so I wouldn't have panty lines.

Had come home, and in my usual rush got ready for a date. Did remember to toss red panties in the laundry basket. But.......of course did my usual pre shower routine. Dump granny panties on floor and hung red bra on door knob.

Decided on the black skirt I had worn earlier as it was nice. So on went a new pair of granny panties. Also decided on a much sexier non-work cream shirt. So had to go get a new bra. Since the shirt fit 'close' I chose a plain beige on with no lace, designs, etc.

I was in a rush once again to meet my date on time. Dashed out of the house forgetting about the granny panties on the floor and red bra on the bathroom door knob. Neither got put in the laundry.

Had been dating this gentleman for quite awhile and the course of our evening led to the ahem....'inevitable' next step in our relationship. We go back to my place. Both a little nervous as we are new to each other in this aspect.

He asked to use the bathroom. I thought nothing of it and said, "Sure." For obvious reasons my mind was preoccupied. Few moments later he comes out chuckling and holding my granny panties in one hand and my pretty, lacy red bra in the other. "I sure hope you're wearing the match to this"...holding up red bra "instead of these"...holding up granny panties.



Worse thing I wasn't. Had on a new set of granny panties and a plain beige bra. Evening went just fine despite our mutual laughter. Really embarrassing but at least it broke the tension.

Our next encounter included him bringing me a gift. It was a really pretty pale pink bra and panty set. He got the sizes exact.

When I asked how he knew my sizes he confessed to being a typical guy and being curious as to what size bra I wore so he looked at the tag in my red bra. Since he wasn't a fan of granny panties he also checked the size in those too so he could buy me some 'decent' underwear.

I didn't know weather to be flattered or insulted.

AG

I would have married him....I am 63 and I STILL can't find the right size bra!

I would have married him had he asked.
Only problem was I found out 4 months later he already had a wife!
That's not being embarrassed. That's being made a fool of.

Only saving grace was he told me in public so it was impossible for me to make a scene.
I did regardless.

Needless to say I was not 'welcomed' back to the restaurant as they did not appreciate patrons who rant and rave, use vulgarities, and hurl rolls from the bread basket around the dining room.
What a shame.
I really liked that restaurant too.

And there you have it -- the stuff of life!

Yep......

Needless to say when I felt like dating again I only dated men who had NEVER been married before.

If they said, "I'm divorced or I'm separated" I ran like my feet were on fire and my butt was catching. Didn't want to leave the door open for any 'surprises' later on or the ghost of someone's lunachick wife of past or present showing up at my door or work.

Good thing I hadn't run out of bread yet because I was eyeing the fork next.

Wish you guys had started this forum about 8 months ago. If you thought I was mad I don't know who the woman was but whatever the dude in our neighborhood did must have been off the charts. I never thought to take pictures.

At the end of a cull de sac a few streets over where I walk the dog sometimes there was a house that had a car that had been torched. It was out in the drive way. I mean torched down to the point where the metal rims were melted to the pavement, the metal on the doors and hood were rippled, the garage door was black and the whole part of the house there showed smoke damage. Thank God stucco doesn't burn as fast as wood. Police tape across the yard, the whole 9 yards.

Being nosy, I hung around and when I saw a neighbor I asked what happened. Lady said, "Oh, I don't know what happened but his girlfriend set the car on fire when he wasn't home."

"You mean the car caught on fire when she started it?"

NO...she SET the car on fire. The police were here and the fire department and........don't know why she did it....but they fought a lot.....blah, blah blah.


Good for the crazy @#%*$.
Wish I had thought of it first when it came to married guy. I'm sure she doesn't mind sitting in jail. The satisfaction she got must be well worth it.

Guys wanna hang out with me? This kind of weird stuff just follows me around in life like a stray dog.

You've got me both giggling and horrified! @AgaveGirl1. I wish I could go back to my 20s...well, kinda wish!