As mentioned in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" The Madison. Gets a rise from the crowd when I watch it in Madison, WI. Gene

I was looking through my closet today and getting ready to go out

You know you're old when every undergarment you put on has the word 'support' in it.

You see more "Glamour Don'ts" than "Glamour Dos"

You refuse to stop wearing your high heels (me) and because you can no longer walk 'right' in them you say you either have knee problems or a palsy.

Your short skirts get longer and longer and your necklines get higher and higher.

Your bathroom looks like a chemistry lab. You own more wrinkle and 'lifting' creams than you do lipstick.

You no longer conceal zits. You conceal age spots. Unless you're in menopause then you get the pleasure of trying to do both at the same time.

You're tempted to use your husband's electric shaver to 'do something' about that mustache. The cost of waxing is getting exponentially more expensive every year.

You want to use the curling iron on your eyelashes instead of your hair.

Have a good day.
AG

AgaveGirl1 said:I was looking through my closet today and getting ready to go out

You know you're old when every undergarment you put on has the word 'support' in it.

You see more "Glamour Don'ts" than "Glamour Dos"

You refuse to stop wearing your high heels (me) and because you can no longer walk 'right' in them you say you either have knee problems or a palsy.

Your short skirts get longer and longer and your necklines get higher and higher.

Your bathroom looks like a chemistry lab. You own more wrinkle and 'lifting' creams than you do lipstick.

You no longer conceal zits. You conceal age spots. Unless you're in menopause then you get the pleasure of trying to do both at the same time.

You're tempted to use your husband's electric shaver to 'do something' about that mustache. The cost of waxing is getting exponentially more expensive every year.

You want to use the curling iron on your eyelashes instead of your hair.

Have a good day.
AG

As my mom said - getting older isn't for sissies!

You are right.

"I gotta go now" does not mean getting off the phone. It means I gotta 'go'...NOW!!!

Salt and pepper is no longer something you put on your food. It is a description of your hair.

When a date asks "Are you on the pill" he is not asking about birth control. He's asking about your meds.

"I need a lift" is not you asking a friend for a ride. It is something you are presently discussing in the plastic surgeons office.

AG

You kids are something else

One of our "family jokes" is my sister-in-law saying she could no longer remember what color her hair is... and I replied that I know exactly what color mine is -- it's dark blonde, just like it says on the box! (judging from the roots, I would hate to see what "color" it is without that box...)

AgaveGirl1 said:
Here's my personal list of I know I'm and 'old lady' reality checks.

When someone ask me my age I still lie. I no longer take years off. I ADD 8 of them on. That way when people look at me they can say, "My God. You're 56!!! No way. Really? You look fantastic for your age. You look so young. What are you doing?"

I get excited when a guy who doesn't have gray hair 'checks me out'.

The only time I hear moans and heavy breathing is when I'm shoveling a hole and moving big pots in the garden.

Getting all hot and bothered means I either have the oven on or I'm having a hot flash.

I no longer buy cute sexy, lacy panties that go up the crack of my butt. I now throw underwear away that does that-NOT buy it!

I no longer shop for push up bras. I look for the oldest woman in the lingerie department and ask her if there are bras that come in 34 long.

I'm excited I can fit into last years jeans and the number on the scale hasn't changed.

I no longer get asked for me I.D. when I buy cigarettes or liquor. Most grocery store policies say 'We card anyone who looks under 40." When I asked this kid one time if he wanted to see my I.D. he said, "No. you got on bifocals. That's good enough."
Little snot nosed. $&*%.. Wanted to slap him. Would have been worth the assault charge.

I have a young friend who is 26. When we go out people ask her in reference to me, "Is that your mom?"

I'm actually happy instead of resentful when my mother treats me like a child.

And....I have a flip phone. I refuse to text. Phones are for 'talking'. You know call in, call out and voice mail. I have a voice. I can speak. Beyond the computer I do not communicate with my thumbs.

I wake up remembering what I look like. I go to the mirror and go, "Arrrrg....Who the Hell is that?"

I only park in aisle 8 at Wal-Mart. No joke. I ONLY park in aisle 8. Spent half an hour looking for my car one time. I was panicked. Almost called the cops to report it missing. Finally found it in aisle 8. So from then on I ONLY park in aisle 8. Don't care if aisle 4 has front door parking and aisle 8 has a space almost back to the street. I ONLY park in aisle 8. If I'm forced to park in a different aisle I literally write the number on the back of my hand with a black Sharpie I keep in the car for that express purpose!!!

Sucks walking at times but at least I know where my car is. It's in ----you guessed it, aisle 8.




AG

DH and I don't text, don't want to and never have. He got his cell phone in 2001 (he needed it, since he was an airline pilot for Comair Airlines until it unfortunately closed on 9/29/12 ) and I finally got mine in 2005 when I turned 50 . We just have "regular phones" that only call out and in and have voice message capability. In Nov. 2005, we got rid of the "land line" and just have our cell phones. It was cheaper.

these are hilarious and so true

Ginny, truer words were never spoken. Reason why I have a liquor cabinet in the house as well as a wine rack!

I teach a class on how to make your own liquor, liquors, legally. Gene

Sounds like a fun class. I use various liqueurs in my baking. Yum.

Here's a related one that people often miss: using cocktail bitters in meat rubs and cooking. Gene

I have relatives that came here from Romania two years ago. They make their own...'Vodka'

My Romanian language skills are non existent. I NEED that recipe. When they learn how to speak English fluently I'll book a flight to go back to the east coast and visit.

There are some countries where having a still and making vodka at home is legal. Sweden is one I know. Long ago I spent the weekend at a friend's house. A guy from my dorm in college. I got to see their basement. A still. They were using past their prime oranges. I asked how many they used in a week. 40-60 lbs. I always wondered what they must have thought at the grocery store was going on. Gene

I don't want to make my own I just want it delivered directly to me ready to drink - preferably cold.

You can remember Sunbeam Bread screen doors. Local hardware store? Coffee shop? Grocery store? But maybe they were just a Midwest thing? Gene

Today...I emptied the last of whole coffee beans from the Starbucks thick plastic/ foiled bags that the beans come in.

Normally, I would throw that bag away....but it is such a GOOD bag...so thick...so..so ..useful -maybe.

I saved it... With the other two just like it.. I should have used those by now ...but thet are sooooo nice...I want to use those leftover bags for something ---special. So I put it in the drawer with the other two .....along with those really good twist ties, and bread clips..and cool whip containers and.......

I am old! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Waste not want not