There are takers and there are givers, Keith. You did the right thing.

You are well rid of her, Keith. katie

Keith -- I think you need more actual face-to-face involvement with these people... online interactions can end up feeling kind of creepy. (Since you mentioned FB, I'm assuming your relationship with this person was limited to that.)

If you are interested in donating vegetables, maybe check with Salvation Army or St. Vincent De Paul? (or some other shelter-type of organization?)

Keith, I think Sandy is right, you need more direct interaction with people. Would any of your neighbors like some fresh flowers/veggies? I was once in a situation where I was doing a lot of service for some very ungrateful people. A good friend told me to do service for people who appreciated it. She meant people who appreciated the service, not people who appreciated me for doing the service. It has made a huge difference for me. On my last trip to Ca. I was leaving the restroom in Walmart and there was a woman in a wheelchair who was having difficulty exiting. At least six other people stood there going "duh" as she struggled. I asked if I could help and wheeled her to the door where her husband was waiting for her. He could not come into the women's room and she couldn't managed to wheel herself. I've handled wheelchairs and have no fear of offering my help when it seems it might be needed. Her husband gave me a look of such gratitude that it was almost embarrassing. Small random acts of kindness are usually appreciated and, if they aren't, you won't end up feeling so burned. Small steps. Secret service.

If you do three or four small acts of kindness, at least one or two will probably be appreciated. As someone used to say, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Lots of small acts will, at worst, bring small rejections. And then you will know to continue with those who appreciate you.

katie

Katie -- so very true! On a very small scale, I can't even count all the "short people" that I have assisted at the grocery store, with getting things off the top shelf! (As well as those using the handicapped scooters)

@Weedwhacker
@katiebear

This woman added me first after seeing my posts on the online garden club we both belong to and liked all my photos. It just so happened at the time I had extra tomatoes I didn't need so when I saw she ran a food stand I thought it would be good to donate, and I am trying to meet people interested in what I like (everyone into gardening locally by me).
The whole reason I'm on the garden club is for me to meet people that live near me, the donation was spur of the moment I don't add people to do favors for them or look for credit.
There are no local clubs for face to face meeting, so this way is supposed to be the next best option.

I can't tell you how easy it is for most people to meet online and develop friendships or go out and meet a friend with little effort, I'm the exception in that they always end in disappointment or mixed signals or people using me. It's not really creepy, this woman just disliked that I called her out on lying and taking advantage of my time, she goes to so many peoples houses to pick up donated items so for her that wasn't a big deal.

The worst part is that this was the third "club" I joined and I've yet to make any real friends. I see how other people connect with others online so easily and it makes me sick to see.

My neighbors do not talk to me for bad reasons, I might as well not have any, so I do not give them anything nor do I have anyone to share all my extra plants with. I'm still looking for places!

Keith ... you have the willingness to connect ... just keep trying. It's the only way something may happen. I am voting for your eventual success. I think you will make it happen.

Katie says test the waters with a toe..not both feet...that is good advice. Katie is very wise.

To some... keeping appts...being on time ...sticking to doing what they say ...is just not a big deal. They don't get it that there are people who are not like minded and who are truly offended by being stood up or not respected by receiving a simple status update.

And people who are not like minded don't get them. That appointment was a major "on the schedule" for you ......to her..may have been one of 50 and no big deal. I think you are justified in by being irate Keith...please don't think I do not..... But ( there is always a but ) you have no idea what delayed her...we know she works .. But do we know that she did not have to sell her car to bail her husband out of jail or to pay a bill? Nope. We know she gives things away for donations...to me..that is selling... And likely will earn more than farmstand price.

She may not have the desire or fortitude to tell you why she was a no show. May I suggest that the next time you run into someone who dissapoints you ..that you take it as a learning experience...chalk it up...write them off if need be...but control your anger and accusations. It can be very intimidating. You can make up your mind NEVER to donate to her...and yet not be otherwise impacted on that garden site. She may now be warning others in the group about you in an effort to do damage control for her reputation.

Well, just like she doesnt know you have had some bad experiences, you dont know if she was working and has to support herself. This just being a hobby. Who knows?? Thats why I agree that some face time, or at least voice time can help avoid these things. We have two totally decent people here I assume. One mad because they got unliked on facebook, and the other unlikeing someone because they too probably have the wrong idea over the reaction to a meeting. Its a darn shame. Feel bad about the whole thing.

Takers and Givers......o how my Dad used to talk about takers and givers. Isnt it the truth tho. My kids just cant get that takes usually dont venture over into the givers territory. They are living and learning.

Yep, learned this from my late Dad as well. "A penny saved is a penny earned", "If you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut", "Pay it forward" (came later in his life), and lots of other good-to-follow things were "preached" to me often.

At my MIL funeral this past weekend, the priest mentioned, which most of us know, but I was glad some ears there heard it again. He said, the only thing you can take with you, is what you give away. No truer words ever spoken.

It is such a shame that so many of our youth never even knew their father much less had a (positive) contact with him. I firmly believe that the breakdown in stable families is slowly but surely going to result in a sub-culture of those that have little chance of achieving their potential.

I will say this. It was alot easier to give im my parents generation, and in the start of ours. My kids, in their working life, have never known what its like to invest money and make money. That was such a thrill for me. I know even I cant give like I used to. It was the money that you made on money that you could share. My husband makes far less than he did 10 years ago, same job. I feel like the last 8 years of money printing have totally wiped out much chance my kids have, at ever really getting to feel that great feeling of giving. Its going to take a long time, if ever, to see those times again.

I feel that you may be right, Pam. For the first time in the last 100 years (no including "The Great Depression"), we might see our incomes shrink, not grow. And that's for the folks who work. Those on the dole will probably see an increase. How pitiful is that?

I don't know about the " might " incomes have shrunk...


Folks on the dole may get increases -- but it buys less.. So the increase is an illusion.

You are sure right. Even minimal inflation will wipe out small gains instantly. We are in a mess.

I make less now than I did in 2009. It drives me crazy thinking about it. The cost of everything keeps going up up up, and wages keep going down down down. Employers have started to get crafty (retail style) with incentives to try to get people to come and stay--for instance, faster accrued vacation time, holiday parties, flexible hours, longer lunches, etc. because they know that they can't pay enough to keep people on board.

I am part of the millennial generation (though I don't identify with most of my own kind), because I was raised differently, in the Ozarks in Eastern Oklahoma and wasn't catered to like many others my age...I digress, our generation is not doing well with the new work/wage climate that is only getting worse, as millennials like to be treated well, do as little work as possible, and want results immediately--and by immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY. We will see how the situation develops as the workforce is taken over more and more by millennials.

And...they got those cards which makes a $4.50 cup of Starbucks coffee feel like a bargain

MISSINGROSIE said:
I don't know about the " might " incomes have shrunk...


Folks on the dole may get increases -- but it buys less.. So the increase is an illusion.

It sure is ! The powers that be say there is no real inflation. Yeah, right. I know this has been going on for a long time, but I opened a can of pickled beets last night to add them to the salad I was making and the can was half empty. The can of beets cost the same as a full can of beets used to cost, we just don't get a full can of beets any more. Same with a lot of things we buy. It is an illusion. Still makes me feel cheated.